Baby Steps of Faith

My Lockness

2011-10-01T00:01:00.000-04:00

I wrote this two years ago and am re-posting in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Deep within my right breast,
lurks a mysterious little something – I've named it Lockness.
Now, you might be thinking "This girl’s insane" but just sit tight and I’ll explain.

You see, I recently went for my annual exam and was handed a script for a mammogram.
I know it’s important for this to be done; I am, after all, past year 41.
So I made my appointment; I didn’t have to be pushed
To lay my breasts down and get alternately squished.

I was neither surprised to receive the next call.
“Additional views needed.” It’s routine, after all.
So I promptly was scheduled, put my right boob on the plate
and was then sent to the hall and asked…to just...wait…

Well, wait I sure did for what felt a long time.
Others came and they went; I felt less than fine.
Red flags shot up as people whispered my name.
“Just gathering information” was the only answer that came.
There’s an area of concern, I finally was told.
An ultrasound was needed. I suddenly felt cold.

I was led to a room and asked to lie down.
The last ultrasound I had, my belly was all round.
But a baby was not what this was about.
I tried to stay positive and fought off my doubt.

I could view the screen easily and was fascinated to see
What looked like an ocean – well, it did to me.
And that’s when I saw it – what they were looking for.
A dark shadowy something. Was that it? Would there be more?

She zeroed in on the area and measured, more or less.
And that’s when it struck me – that monster called Lockness.
It bobbed up and down, this threat in my breast.
I thought “I’m so weird” as she finished the test.

But happy I wasn’t and I started to pray
For peace while I waited to hear what they'd say.
Would my Lockness have teeth? The radiologist wasn’t sure.
But a biopsy would certainly tell everyone more.

I met with a surgeon the very next day.
She doesn’t think that it’s cancer. It doesn’t look that way.
She said cancer cells are jagged and much darker too.
But go ahead with the biopsy - try not to let it worry you.

So, a core-needle biopsy I’ll soon undergo.
And await the results that will finally show
If a cancerous threat lurks within my right breast…
This suspicious area I call Lockness.

-----------------------------

Well, my story has an ending and it brought great relief
To learn that my Lockness had absolutely NO TEETH!

My results were benign, no cancer in sight.
But someone else just today learned she'll have to fight.
She's scared and confused, unsure how this will end.
Please say a prayer for this one, then get tested, my friend.

It doesn't take long, a firm squish and it's done.
Let's stay on our guard 'till the cancer-battle's been won!

Be blessed!
Melanie

Love's Story

2011-09-07T09:01:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time in a land not far away,
A young man met a girl
18 years ago, Labor Day.

They’d seen each other at church, said the usual hi’s & bye’s.
He thought she was pretty; She thought him so handsome,
Especially, his big brown eyes.

They met at a party of a mutual friend.
They talked and they flirted all day ‘till the end.
Phone numbers exchanged, a quick peck on the cheek.
She couldn’t help but smile as she thought of him all week.

A phone call soon followed, at her job no less.
He’d been thinking of her too; she was very impressed.

After a few short months, they’d fallen in love.
They felt enormously blessed by their God above.
A proposal of marriage came on the 12th of December.
And the wedding that followed, they’d always remember.

For the last 17 years, the young man and his bride
Have had a blessed life; yes, it’s been quite a ride.
I wish I could say every day is care free.
But it is a union of two people who are as different as can be.

Though years have passed, this girl still loves her man,
Their life and their kids and how he still takes her hand.
Her heart still skips a beat when he comes into view,
Because she knows that he loves her with all of his heart too.

The best part of this story? It’s 100 percent true!
Happy Anniversary, my love - I’ll always love you!!!

The Hero Heart of God

2011-01-30T18:19:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately. The last couple of days in particular I've realized in words something I've always felt. My dad was my hero and demonstrated to me a glimpse of the hero heart of God.

My dad was my protector. Mind you, he wasn't a very big man in stature. Shorter than most, really. But if angered or sent into Papa Bear mode, even the biggest man was wise to think twice before messing with him. When I was chased by neighborhood kids, one look at my father's face made them turn tail and run the other way; and one of my most cherished memories was when I was 13 and in the hospital because of a car accident, my dad took charge and walked thru that hospital like he owned the place. He was there before visiting hours and stayed as late as he deemed necessary and no one would have been able to stop him without a fight. When I was little, he took me to an amusement park and I wanted to try that ride with the swings that swing way out and round and round. When I became scared to death, my father tried with all his might to get the guy to stop that ride. Honestly, I thought he might punch him. My dad did everything he could to "save" me. As scared as I was, I absolutely loved him for how hard he was trying to get to me. When the ride finally stopped, he scooped me into his strong arms and made me feel safe again.

Yesterday, my sister and niece were in a pretty bad car accident. My dad's been gone for 10 years now but our Abba Father, "an ever-present help in times of trouble" (Psalm 46:1) took charge of the situation. His angels protected them in that car and good friends - some my sister's, some my niece's - immediately showed up at the scene seemingly from out of nowhere helping them and calming them while they waiting for the police and ambulance. The car is wrecked, probably totaled but they are both home and fine albeit with a few bumps and bruises. God is my Hero - and theirs.

Like my dad, God has protected me from some things, comforted me thru others. Unlike my dad, though, who ultimately had to yield to authority in a given situation, my Father God IS the Authority in EVERY situation and nothing and nobody gets in His way when it comes to His beloved children.

I love the Hero heart of God and am thankful to have had an example of it in my earthly father.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Sometimes it best to start small

2011-01-17T15:48:00.000-05:00

You know how "they" say it's best to "face your fears"? I don't know why they say that. I'm much more comfortable dodging, dancing around and and all out avoiding them at all costs. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could face fear without the fear facing me back. Or better yet if I could look at it through a peephole on the other side of a high, long fence. Unfortunately you can only dodge for just so long. Today, I was finally face-to-face with one of my biggest fears - THE DENTIST.

I hate dentists. Well, I don't have a problem with them as people - just what they do for a living. And really, what they do is fine - it's downright helpful even - as long as they're not having to do it to me. It's an irrational fear of mine, rooted long ago by a butcher of a dentist I went to as a kid. He was HORRIBLE! And so, the last time I went to a dentist - any dentist - was 29 years ago. No, that's not a typo. I'm embarrassed to say I haven't been to a dentist in 29 years. Until today, that is.

Honestly 29 years is pretty good if you think of it. I seem to have taken good enough care of my teeth to last me this long (*this is me justifying and rationalizing the neglect of my teeth*). If it weren't for the fact that I cracked my tooth a couple of years ago, I might not even have to be going now. Yes, I should have gone when it first happened but I figured it wasn't hurting or bothering me, so why mess with a good thing?

Well, I'm hurtin' now. Friday night during dinner I absentmindedly did something I don't normally do - chew on that side of my mouth. The food hit that tooth and I saw stars and was in terrible pain most of the weekend. By the absolute grace of God, the pain has minimized significantly - not gone, mind you, but oh sweet mercy, it's much better.

It's obvious I have no choice but to get that sucker out of my mouth. It's like childbirth. Most of us are terrified by the concept of it, but by the time you reach the end, all you want is to GET IT OUT!!! That's where I'm at. But I'm still really scared. I was all set with an appointment this morning and comforted oh-so-slightly by the fact that they do "sedation dentistry". If I have to go, I want to go in, be completely knocked out, wake up and it's all done and I was oblivious to all of it. And that's what I was told would happen when I made the appointment. Unfortunately, it seems I was misinformed. So...nothing got done today. Sorry, being conscious is a deal breaker for me. They were all really understanding though, which was very nice and they made an appointment for me with an oral surgeon for tomorrow morning who will definitely send me to la-la land for the duration of the procedure. YAY

So, I'm kind of proud of myself. I broke my shameful 29-year dental-avoidance streak today. I saw him, he saw me; he even looked at my teeth. Nothing got done but hey, baby steps, right?

Hebrews 13:6 "We can say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" :)

Be blessed.
Melanie

Catching Up

2010-11-29T11:41:00.001-05:00

Where does the time go? The last time I posted was MAY? Really? This is becoming as bad as keeping up with my diary when I was a kid. Trust me, that's pretty bad. I've always had an interest in keeping a journal, a diary or whatever but consistency is a problem with me, I guess. I think a lot and I often think it would be so good to get these thoughts on paper. The sad thing is I'm so terribly distracted and by the time I get a pen and find one of the bazillion journals I've collected over the years and actually sit down to write the profound(?) thoughts I've been thinking...the thought's gone. It's sad, really. I'm sure at some point I've figured out some pretty important stuff but now we'll never know. Oh well.

So let's see. The whole point of this post is to get you all caught up on the ~~mundaneness~~, adventures of my life since May. Well, a couple of seasons have come and gone so maybe I'll just stick to a highlight or two.

The biggest I guess would be our foray into homeschooling. Yes, I am now a homeschool mom to my daughter. My son is still in the public school but my daughter had a rough time last year adjusting to the new school. Not academically - she did very well in that department. It was more emotionally, I guess. There were a lot of things she was experiencing that took her from being a kid who LOVED school to one who couldn't wait to be done with it. Plus I had more than a few qualms with the way things are handled there myself. So we decided to give homeschooling a try this year with the idea that we'd take it on a year-by-year basis.

It's been a bumpy start but I have hopes it'll get better. I'd like to say when the school year is done that, at the very least, we have no regrets, made some good memories and learned a thing or two in the process. I can definitely say I enjoy having this time with her. I like her. I mean, of course I do - I love her. But even if I wasn't her mom, I'd like her. She's fun and sweet and smart. And she loves Jesus and I just like the way she thinks. She's got a big heart, full of compassion. Anyway, I'm liking spending this time with her. Not that she's not a pain in the butt at times 'cause she IS 12 and I have to constantly keep on her to get her work done and stop goofin' off. But overall so far, so good.

The other big thing in my life is Bible study. A friend of mine had facilitated a couple of our studies but then she had to move. So, because she flat-left (Love you, Rach!), I've been doing it. I think it's going ok so far - at least I certainly pray so. Our very small group just finished up Beth Moore's "Stepping Up" study on the Psalms of Ascent. With the holidays upon us, we decided we still want to meet but we agreed that anything with homework would be a little overwhelming. SOooo, we're going to gather for the next few weeks to view three videos from Beth's "Wising Up" series. We're looking forward to it.

So how about you? What's been happening in your little corner of the world?

Be blessed...
Melanie

I Need My Homework!

2010-05-06T09:21:00.000-04:00

My small group and I just finished up Beth Moore's Bible study, "Jesus the One and Only" and this has been my first week without homework to do. I don't like it. Our group decided to break for the summer months and get back into the in-depth study thing in the fall.

Something I've discovered about myself is that I really do better with a schedule. It must be the accountability or something. That or maybe that old saying about idle hands. What IS that saying, anyway? I can't remember but I know it's not good. Bad to be idle. Don't want idle hands.

The fact is, I enjoy being in the Word and when I don't get into it regularly, I feel the difference. I suspect, however, there's also a bit of that "it's all in my head" kinda thing going on here too because, while I'm sitting here lamenting over not having anymore Bible study homework to do, the irony is that for the last...oh, let's say - many - weeks now, I haven't even generally started my homework until Thursdays and sometimes not until the weekend. Ok, Sunday. Mind you our group meets on Monday nights. But just knowing that I don't have any homework to do - absolutely nothing to even get a late start on, is a bummer.

On the plus side, my group HAS decided to do one of Beth's three-week video lectures, "Wising Up" from the book of Proverbs. There's no homework but it'll be good. We start next week. Then we're going to do a once-a-month summer book discussion type of thing. And THEN, my sweet, just-turned-12 daughter asked if she could do a Bible study too. So my friend and I are going to help lead the kids in their very first official Bible study during the summer. I found a great one online called "Jesus in the Spotlight" by Kay Arthur and Cyndy Shearer. There's even homework - fun homework that the kids will hopefully enjoy. And, of course, that means I'll have to do it too if I'm going to help organize it.

So, I guess that means I do still have homework! Cool. So much for idle hands.

Be blessed.
Melanie

A Birthday Prayer

2010-05-05T12:16:00.002-04:00

Today is my sweet girl's 12th birthday! I couldn't help but think back to the day she was born.

Be blessed.
Melanie

My God, my God
With gratitude I’m compelled
To come into your presence
For this feeling won’t be quelled.

You gave me this gift
I’ve cherished all these years.
My beautiful baby girl
Now, here come the tears.

They’re tears of joy as I recall
The first moment that I held her
That overwhelming love
As I sat there and beheld her

I could never have imagined
A love so big and so pure
Would I raise her well?
Oh, I so wasn’t sure.

I remember thanking You though
As I studied her face
Counting fingers and toes
Ensuring all was in place

Then thanksgiving turned to song
On that very first day
A simple song just for her
In that sweet lullaby way

James 1:5 became my prayer
A promise from You so I’m prepared
To handle all things that might come our way
As You give me wisdom to do and to say

God, she’s grown so big in such a short time
Beautiful and sweet and so very kind
She’s got her faults, I will admit
Though not one’s held against her
Not one little bit.

So I thank You now as I thanked You then
For this gift of a daughter that You did send
And on this, her birthday, I humbly ask
That You continue to keep me up to this task

Help me do all that You desire me to
In raising her well and pointing her to You.
I want nothing more for her than to be happy and strong
Loving You greatly Her entire life long.

Bless her, my Jesus
In every wonderful way
And let this be for her
A fabulous Birthday!

Transferring Ownership - Now Let Go!

2010-03-11T14:29:00.000-05:00

It's been a very good week of Bible study this week starting with a great video. My small group and I are up to week 5 of Beth Moore's "Jesus the One and Only". Her primary text during the video was Luke 8:22-27. The first portion of that tells of Jesus calling his disciples to join Him in the boat to sail to the other side of the lake across from Galilee. As they're on their way, Jesus falls asleep and the winds and waves kick up so bad that, according to the Word, they were in "great danger". In a panic, they wake Jesus up and He rebukes the storm, challenges the disciples' faith and they're left amazed at His power.

Beth makes the point that when Jesus calls us to go somewhere or through something, He accompanies us and reminds us that He who accompanies us has "dominion" over all things. Waves, winds, storms, troubles of all kinds. She said "We don't have to understand it (a situation) to ask God to take dominion over it." Amen! Absolutely, God, take dominion 'cause only You've got the power to do what truly and rightly needs to be done. Yes! ...I think.

What does that really mean though? Asking God to take "dominion". I kinda thought I understood. "Control", right? I want God to be in control. Of course I do. But...could it mean something more? I decided to look it up. Yep, the word "control" was right there. However, as I scrolled down to look at the synonyms, I saw something interesting. A synonym for "dominion" is "ownership". Well that gives it a bit of a new flavor, doesn't it? It's a little stronger, a little more permanent. "Control" makes me think of driving of a car. We can switch drivers anytime. "Ok, God, you can take the wheel now, this terrain's getting a little too much for me." The "Owner" of the car can kick the "driver" out any time He wants.

I thought immediately of the time my good friend sold her house in NY. She loved that house. That place was in pretty sad shape when they first bought it. In fact, I couldn't see the allure for the life of me, but my friends could see past the hideous, so-shiny-you-can-do-your-makeup-by-it wallpaper and the eensy kitchen with oh-so-little counter space and next-to-no storage to see what they would, over the next many years, turn into a beautiful home anyone would be proud to own. They poured so much of themselves into that home that it tore her up to sell it. But if she had to, she figured she'd pray hard that the people who bought it would love it as much as she did and wouldn't want to change a thing. It killed her to think of what the new owners might want to change. But, once they take ownership, it's theirs. They can do whatever they want or think best, and rightfully so. You accepted their offer, they paid the price so you willingly and naturally give up your rights to it.

But what about when it comes to God? How many times have we asked Him to take control of something? I did when I got saved. I asked Jesus to take control of my life. I ask Him all the time to take control over sickness, my path, my marriage, my kids' lives, all sorts of things. Do I really mean ownership though? That thought gives me pause. That implies that, if He owns it, He can do what He wants with it, regardless of what I think best. And it implies that I've agreed to this. This isn't just some house though; this is my life we're talking about! What's He gonna do? Is He gonna break anything? Probably. Is He gonna toss stuff? Most assuredly. Is He going to change everything? That's the goal. What about bad stuff? How much of that is He gonna let in? As much as He deems appropriate or necessary to complete His plans for the place. It's His now and you gave up any say. Right?

You know what, if it were anybody else I'd handed ownership of my life over to, I'd be scared. But I know this Owner and I love Him dearly. What Jesus took ownership of nearly 30 years ago was in worse shape than my friend's house. The foundation was cracked and the effects and damage from my life's storms were already beginning to show. And yes, He's changed quite a lot. He set my feet on a firm foundation; He's emptied a lot of trash, brought in a lot of beauty and continually expands my perspective on the world around me. And what's more, He's loved me longer and more than I could have ever hoped to be loved by anybody. He's not going anywhere either because He said "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

My biggest prayer is that when someone takes a look at my life, they'll see touches of the Owner all over it.

Be blessed.
Melanie

He Knows Me So Well

2010-02-15T11:02:00.006-05:00

Some women may enjoy getting jewelry or flowers for Valentines Day and you know what I say to that? AMEN!!! Other's may enjoy a nice dinner out. Reservations happen to be MY favorite thing to make for dinner.

You know what that man of mine got ME for Valentine's Day? The much anticipated new book by Beth Moore - So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to me. I may have been just as excited over that as I've ever been over any Valentine's Day bauble or red rose! Am I a geek or what! Be that as it may, it's a REALLY good book! Sigh...I love my man...

Be blessed.
Melanie

Active Compassion

2010-02-04T05:11:00.014-05:00

Oh, my blog, how I've neglected you! Is anyone even still checking here? As much as I like to write, lately it seems to take me more time than I care to admit to put a coherent thought together much beyond...well...a Facebook status change. Which is a shame because there's been so much that I wish I'd blogged about. We're in the new house at long last and loving it; God has blessed us with a church home; we're near family and friends that I've not had the enjoyment of living near in way too many years; and God has given these temporarily idle hands a few things to do to keep them out of trouble and hopefully get some Kingdom use out of.

What's compelled me here today, however, is the idea of "active" compassion and the need we all have to feel we matter to others...to know that somebody cares. And more than that, the question of who should or will take on the task of letting them know? Is it a responsibility of the church or the individual Christian or is it something that should be left naturally to chance or circumstance?

Over the last several months, I've found myself in conversations with people with a similar story and genuine hurt. When "stuff" happened to these folks causing them to be MIA from church for a time, very few - if any - from their respective churches called, visited or showed any signs that they were even aware the individual was missing or missed. These MIA's weren't hit-or-miss attendees either. I'm talking about active, serving, there-whenever-the-doors-are-open, members of their churches. This seeming lack of concern left them bewildered and really hurt.

One person shared that they left the church they'd been part of for years over this issue. Another, currently bleeding from this recent wound, is seriously contemplating leaving their church after years of faithful service.

This doesn't just affect the MIA's either. Yet another conversation was with someone who very much wants to have some Christian friends to hang with. This person's been making efforts to build relationships in their new church but to date has no one reciprocating. There's the hope that this will change but if it doesn't, they're outta there and they will look for another church to hopefully meet this very real need.

People are really hurting and though folks seem busier than ever or maybe because of it, lonliness seems prevelent. My heart breaks for their hurt because I've been there. I left a church too because of it and the wound remained unhealed for years until I let the Lord bring me to a place where I could decide to forgive. Thankfully, I've also been on the other side when a simple phone call from a church friend made all the difference in the world to my hurting heart and was enough to bring me back to church the very next Sunday.

This has been increasingly on my heart but I wonder what you think - Is it just petty and those with hurt feelings of neglect need to grow up, suck it up and get over themselves as some, in essence, have been told (though probably not as bluntly)? Or are their feelings valid enough for us as Christians who are told to "weep with those who weep" and to "have compassion one for another" to show a little more active compassion. To look beyond ourselves, stop in our "busy-ness" for a moment and check to see if the person who's usually sitting next to us is actually there or not. And, if not, should we stop resting in the assumption that someone on the church's "Caring & Sharing" committee will reach out to them or instead can we purpose within ourselves to allow God to interrupt our day for a moment to take that call to compassion personally and reach out and let them know they were missed? It's such a simple thing, but that phone call, card or invitation for coffee could make a bigger difference than we realize.

I wonder.

May you be blessed.
Melanie

Worth a Repeat

2009-10-15T08:57:00.005-04:00

In honor of breast cancer awareness month, I thought this might be worth repeating. I wrote it 6 months ago after my routine mammogram came back with something suspicious. As it turned out, all was fine and next week I'm due for my 6 month follow-up. I'm a smidge nervous but only slightly more than I would be anyway. Prayers would still be appreciated though. Thanks. For more information on Breast Cancer click here on Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Be Blessed.
Melanie

My Lockness

Deep within my right breast,
lurks a mysterious little something – I've named it Lockness.
Now, you might be thinking this girl’s insane but just sit tight and I’ll explain.

You see, I recently went for my annual exam
And was handed a script for a mammogram.
I know it’s important for this to be done; I am afterall at year 41.
So I made my appointment; I didn’t have to be pushed
To lay my breasts down and get alternately squished.

I was neither surprised to receive the next call.
“Additional views needed.” It’s routine, after all.
So I promptly was scheduled, put my right boob on the plate
and was then sent to the hall and asked…to just...wait…

Well, wait I sure did for what felt a long time.
Others came and they went; I felt less than fine.
Red flags shot up as people whispered my name.
“Just gathering information” was the only answer that came.
There’s an area of concern, I finally was told.
An ultrasound was needed. I suddenly felt cold.

I was led to a room and asked to lie down.
The last ultrasound I had, my belly was all round.
But a baby was not what this was about.
I tried to stay positive and fought off my doubt.

I could view the screen easily and was fascinated to see
What looked like an ocean – well, it did to me.
And that’s when I saw it – what they were looking for.
A dark shadowy something. Was that it? Would there be more?

She zeroed in on the area and measured, more or less.
And that’s when it struck me – that monster called Lockness.
It bobbed up and down, this threat in my breast.
I thought “I’m so weird” while she finished the test.

But happy I wasn’t and I started to pray
For peace while I waited to hear what they had to say.
Would my lockness have teeth? The radiologist wasn’t sure.
But a biopsy would certainly tell everyone more.

I met with a surgeon the very next day.
She doesn’t think that it’s cancer. It doesn’t look that way.
She said cancer cells are jagged and much darker too.
But go ahead with the biopsy - try not to let it worry you.

So, a core-needle biopsy I’ll soon undergo.
And await the results that will finally show
If a cancerous threat lurks within my breast…
This suspicious area I call Lockness.

25 Puns to Ponder about Your Faith

2009-10-06T13:41:00.005-04:00

I saw this on my previous church's website and loved it.

According to Websters, A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.

Puns make us think, just a bit more about the meaning. They are brain teasers that make us ponder. Can you ponder these about your faith...

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end! -- God's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period. (love this one!)

6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period. (this one too)

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.

9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains..

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.

18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

24. Be fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.

25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. (I used to remind myself of this quite frequently).

Be blessed.
Melanie

A Little Boy's Insight

2009-09-14T22:33:00.007-04:00

The last two nights, I've attended funeral services for my very best friend's mother. RJ and I have been friends since we were five years old and I have always considered her mom like a second mom to me.

RJ's 4 year old son is having a hard time processing all of this. He dearly loved his grandma and she dearly loved him as she did all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Looking at her in the casket, he didn't quite understand who that was. It sort of looked like grandma and everyone told him it was her but to him, there was clearly something missing and he determined that with everyone telling him that grandma was in heaven that this was obviously "fake" grandma.

The next day, still trying to process it all, he told his mom that "God took "real" grandma to heaven and she's feeling better now and He left fake grandma here in the "treasure crib". To him, the casket looks like a giant treasure box but since it has a pillow and it's cushy inside with sides that are high, it also looks like a crib - a treasure crib.

A treasure crib... In that casket truly was a treasure. I looked at Mrs. B's hands and saw hands that had prepared some of the best lasagnas a person would ever eat, played endless card games, sewed everything from dresses to costumes and everything in between. From those lips had come a clearly distinguishable voice, one that makes me smile just thinking of it and one that is carried on very similarly in at least one of her grandchildren. And that now still heart, until just a few short days ago, overflowed with love for her family and friends. But there is something very empty about that treasure now in that 'treasure crib' and that sweet little 4-year old boy knew it. He knows that his "real" grandma, the real treasure, is in Heaven with Jesus.

Matthew 6:20 says "Store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not decay and where thieves do not break in and steal."

In this world, relationships can fail, loved ones die and jobs and finances are never truly secure. When it comes to what we treasure - those things we count on to carry us through the hard times and the things we look to for joy and peace, the only way to tell what's real and what's empty is to place it against the backdrop of eternity.

Jesus is the true Treasure in Heaven. The better we get to know Him, the quicker we'll become like my friend's little boy desiring nothing less than the real thing and recognizing empty treasures when we see them.

Be blessed and hug someone special today just because you can.
Melanie

Waiting on Him

2009-09-02T15:07:00.004-04:00

I've been feeling a bit down the past couple of days. Nothing major; just homesick, I guess. I miss my friends in PA and I really miss my job there. If you've read some of my previous posts, you have an idea of how much I enjoyed working there. The people were great but it was more than that. I got to be a very small piece of something much bigger and I liked it - and miss it - very much.

A dear friend gave me a book called Praying for Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton before I left and it is proving to be quite a blessing to me. There's a good reason no one has ever accused me of having the patience of a saint. I very much want to find God's purpose for my life here and I'd like to find it now, thank you very much. I'd love to just jump right into our new life with both feet and pick right up where I left off in PA. Unfortunately, I seem to be a holding pattern right now. We're new, no one knows us and we have very few connections here with anyone. It's very much a place of starting over and until people get to know us better, they'd just as soon I keep my feet to myself - for now anyway.

In the meantime, thankfully, Jesus will gladly keep walking with me and my antsy feet as I do my best to be faithful to bloom where I'm planted. It's all in His timing.

Be blessed.
Melanie

God's Chisel

2009-08-31T12:43:00.002-04:00

Saw this on a friend's Facebook page. Thought I'd share it with you.

Be blessed.
Melanie

">

It's Kindergarden All Over Again

2009-08-24T01:00:00.005-04:00

That's what it feels like. My kids will start getting ready for their first day back to school in about 7 hours from now. And because they're really nervous about it, so am I. I promise I'm nothing but understanding and encouraging words to them about all the new friends they're going to make and how nice the teachers all seemed, etc. but inside I feel just like I did on their first day of kindergarden. Everything is so different and foreign and not at all familiar. What makes this especially difficult is that on their first day of kindergarden, they were excited; the anxiety back then was all mine. Now, they're scared - at least they were when they went to bed. I pray they're feeling better in the morning. Me too.

Prayers are gratefully accepted here.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Florida livin' at its' finest...

2009-08-21T10:25:00.021-04:00

...for my 9 year old son, anyway. While my daughter has been working herself into a tizzy contemplating the injustices of a "stupid" dress code wherein children are forced to tuck in their shirts, my son is all about the gators and lizards and frogs, oh my!

Side note: Sierra even sought out and introduced herself to the school principle last night at orientation just to ask if they are ever allowed to untuck - the answer? "Rarely". She politely responded with an "Ok, thank you" but as we walked away, she turned to me and said with utter frustration, Rarely! What does 'Rarely' mean!?!

Anyway, here's a sampling of Justin's summer adventures...

Crikie, what a beauty! After weeks of scanning every lake we passed by in hopes of catching a glimpse of an alligator, he was beyond thrilled to see, touch and, ughh, sit upon this very real gator at - of all places - a McDonalds in Orlando!

Catchin' lizards wherever they hide.

He caught a little guy just like this on top of our front door post. It took standing on a chair and a long stick to get him but he got him and played with him for hours. Not sure the frog had as much fun but he was set free by day's end.

Be blessed.
Melanie

No More Life As Usual

2009-08-16T18:30:00.011-04:00

In church today, the pastor challenged us to ask ourselves if we would be willing to let God shake us up a little and bring us out of our "life as usual." I couldn't help but think about our new life here in FL. Definitely not life as usual.

We've never lived in an area like this before and honestly, it's going to take some getting used to. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just not what we're used to - it's different and that doesn't automatically mean bad.

I'm the first to admit we've been downright spoiled by always having easy access to whatever we needed right at our finger tips and rarely more than a ten-minute drive. We're typical suburbanites. Work, shopping, doctors, friends, church, school - you name it - all right there. Here, in our little corner of central Florida, if you're not passing an orange grove, you're passing a lake...a big one, so that means it takes a little while to get anywhere 'cause you've got to get around that orange grove and around that big ol' lake.

The general pace around here is slower than what we're used to also which is, for the most part, fine with me since I tend to pace myself rather slowly anyway but is still one of the things we're having to get used to. When we want to go somewhere, we're used to getting there NOW. It seems a major drag to have to take all that extra time to get around that, albeit pretty, lake. We whole-heartedly believe in stopping to smell the roses but wonder why it is that some people have to take so L O N G to smell them. Let's sniff it and move on, people...gotta go Go GO!

For the record, I really do like it here. While our drive to Walmart would probably be a lot shorter if it weren't for the lake, I really do find it rather peaceful looking at it on my way. Though I doubt any of us would say no to an offer of prayer for our time of adjustment. I completely believe God has a purpose and a plan for us here which is why I can accept and even look forward to breaking out of my "life as usual".

How 'bout you? Be blessed.
Melanie

Home Sweet Home Prayer

2009-07-17T00:07:00.004-04:00

My 11 year old daughter wrote the prayer below a few days ago. We have finally arrived at our new -albeit temporary - home in FL (the new one will be ready in a few months). To truly appreciate it, you have to realize that she was devastated about having to move away from her friends and school and her life in PA. Her heart was broken and many tears were shed.

When she read this to me, I cried and thanked God for her grateful heart and her desire to seek and see His hand in her life. Praise His Name. ~ Melanie

A Home Sweet Home Prayer

Dear God...
Thank you God for bringing us here .
We praise you and love You too.

Thank you for all the wonderful things you have given us.
Thanks for bringing us here for this
Home Sweet Home.

You taught us to believe in you
and You taught us how to trust You.
Now all we have to do is follow your way and live
in this Home Sweet Home.

We may be far away from our friends
but that doesn't mean You're not near here.

When I was little, I didn't know You
but then my parents told me about You.

You always know what's about to happen
and if it's bad, You're always there to protect us.

When we're scared, You help us not to be.
When we're sick, You heal us.

I love You and thank You for this wonderful
Home Sweet Home.

Amen.

Choking Back Tears

2009-06-17T18:54:00.010-04:00

It's officially begun. The dreaded goodbyes. The part I've purposely been pushing from my mind for weeks now is quickly becoming unavoidable and I'm sad.

Yesterday, some of my co-workers took me out for a "farewell" lunch. There were thoughtful gifts and kind sentiments from a pretty wonderful group of people and I couldn't help but get choked up. I'm so gonna miss these folks, the ones who were able to make it and those who couldn't. For the last three years I've had the privilege of working with people who are so gifted in what they each do. I have so much respect and admiration for each and every one of them.

Then today I met with someone I usually only deal with through email, though occassionally face-to-face. She hugged me before she left and wished me well and told me I would be missed. I'll miss her too.

Next week will be the worst. It's my last week and even as I type that, I'm choking back tears - unsuccessfully, I might add. I've loved everything about working for my church, from the people I work with and for, to those involved in the ministries I help serve. I wasn't wanting to go back to work three years ago and I hated the events that made it necessary but I couldn't be more thankful that God opened that door and shoved me through it. It's been one of the best experiences of my life and a big part of me truly wishes it wasn't coming to an end.

Oh, here we go again. Where are the tissues...

Be blessed.
Melanie

All This Moving Stuff

2009-06-04T12:49:00.030-04:00

Howdy folks! Have I told you lately how awesome I think God is? Well, based on the date of my last post, I haven't told you anything in a month and a day so I guess I haven't. Well, He is.

Preparations for our move to FL have been progressing nicely - THANK YOU, JESUS! Every time a potential glitch has popped up, God has smoothed it out. More than that, everytime my worries and doubts have popped up, God smoothed those out too, with specific-to-my-prayers scripture. I have been loving this time with the Lord. I don't think I've ever experienced Him like this before. I know I haven't.

My friend asked me recently if this move is different from the other moves we've made and my husband asked me something similar as well. This move is different. For instance, when we moved from Virgnia Beach, VA to San Antonio, TX, God gave me a peace about that. Throughout this whole process though, God has, little by little given me not just peace, but a confidence that He is leading this and is working out every detail.

I was on our church's annual women's retreat down in Rehoboth Beach, DE when my husband called to say we had an offer on the house. I told you in my last post that in our heart of hearts, we weren't really expecting the house to sell. Not in this market. So I was more than a little shocked when he told me. One of my very best friends was on the retreat with me and I was afraid to tell her. I knew she'd be upset - shoot, I was upset. My mind immediately went to all that we'd be leaving. Our friends, my kids' schools, our church, a job I love with people I absolutely respect beyond words...I thought of the devastation this would be to my kids...This is the closest I've lived to my mom, sister and her family in NY in 14 years and now I'm going to leave? Again? I was completely torn in half.

But God was SO good to me. He made sure I'd be in the best possible place to receive this news - this women's retreat. The speaker was a woman by the name of Sharon Thomas with Established Footsteps Ministries and she spoke on, of all things...moving! Moving from one spiritual place to another and making sure to build your "house" on the Rock. It was so fabulous. Every message was SO specific, SO encouraging. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I think I did both at different times.

But the best came late Saturday morning. Every year, an hour of quiet time immediately follows the Saturday morning message (and precedes LUNCH & 5 hours of free time). We are encouraged to get by ourselves to pray, read our Bibles, answer some questions based on that morning's message and just basically reflect on what God might be saying to us. The weather was gorgeous so most of us, myself included, chose to go down to the beach. I got as close to the water as I could - without letting it actually touch me. (It was, afterall, only April. In Deleware. The water was freezing!)

I began to pour out my heart to God - my fears, my worries. I desperately want to be doing the right thing by my family. I think now of the story where Moses tells God that if He wasn't going to go with them into the promised land, he didn't want to go at all. That's pretty much how I felt. I believed that moving would ultimately make life better for my family but if He wasn't leading it, if He wasn't behind this, I didn't want to go anywhere. I asked Him to please not allow us to get one toe out of His will. And I do, afterall, have plenty of good reasons to stay. I've changed so much in the last 5 years and feel like I've experienced the biggest growth spurt of my life with regard to my relationship with Him while here. I don't know what a future looks like somewhere else but I could see possibilities for each of us for continued growth and ways and places to get involved if we stayed.

I had my Bible with me and began to read various scriptures. Through those and through what God spoke to my heart, my faith grew a little bit and I began to believe He might actually be behind this move. He told me through His Word that I could trust Him and to remember and think of those things that I know about Him; that He is the Good Shepherd who never leads His sheep astray. He reminded me that He doesn't stay behind in PA while we move elsewhere but He would go with us and, in fact, has gone before us. It was this back and forth conversation with Him. It was the coolest thing ever.

And that's kind of how it's been throughout this whole process. Another friend of mine told me that during the retreat, God had put it on her heart to give me this small binder full of index cards on many of which she wrote, by hand, scripture verses about trusting God for my future. Verses like Psalm 32:8 The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Those verses in that binder are like gold to me. A treasured gift. One I carry with me constantly, refer to frequently and add to periodically.

Yes, God is awesome. I'm just sayin'

Be blessed.
Melanie

Results, Travel and Plans, Oh My!

2009-05-03T10:03:00.003-04:00

Happy Sunday, folks. I completely overslept today so no church for us. Man, and I really wanted to go today. Oi.

Well results from my biopsy came in the very next day and they were negative - no cancer. It was a (and forgive my probably misspelling) fibroadnoma. Thanks so much for your prayers. It truly means so much to me that folks I've never even met took time to pray for me. That's such a God thing. I love Him - and you - for that. I have a follow-up this week with my doctor who will explain exactly what a fibroadnoma is (which is good since I really haven't had time to look it up) and to discuss options like to remove or not to remove. From my understanding at this point, I shouldn't need to remove it since it's no more likely to turn cancerous than any other cell in there. That being the case, I don't believe I want to have my breast opened up again no matter how teensy the opening. The only thing I'm concerned about is that ever since the biopsy, I have this very uncomfortable lump there. My guess is that it might be a hematoma and if it is, I don't know what they typically do about that.

In other news, the reason I didn't post my results sooner is because the very next day we took off on a very long drive down to Florida to...HOUSE HUNT! I'm not sure that I've posted before that back in February we put our house up for sale. We weren't sure if it would sell with the market the way it is AND we didn't know where we would go if it did. We were considering NC and FL because we have friends and/or family in both places. We were all a little shocked when a serious buyer came along two months later. So far things seem to be going well and though there are still a couple of things that could trip this up, we are trusting God that if this is indeed His plan for us, all will go well. We want nothing more than to be in the center of His will for our family wherever and whenever that takes or keeps us.

So within a matter of days, we looked at 20-30 homes in central FL and ultimately decided to build in a town that we had originally said we didn't want to consider. This is a very funny testimony in the making if this goes through all the way, I'll tell ya. Well funny to us, anyway.

SO, now all we have to do is start packing, find a rental place in FL we can live in 'till the house is ready in Sept/Oct, figure out what in the world we're doing with the animals 'cause of course we're going away on vacation about the same time as the move...sigh... Can you sense my joy? Anybody got some boxes? Anybody wanna help? C'mon, I'll make lunch! All prayers are appreciated as always.

And as always, I pray YOU will...

Be blessed.
Melanie

Way To Go, Felicia!!!

2009-03-04T08:54:00.002-05:00

Don't know if you're an American Idol fan or not. I haven't been up to this point but then all it takes to become one is to have actually known one of the contestants. I used to go to church with Felicia until about six years ago or so. She's the pastor's daughter and she's always been a powerhouse of a singer. I LOVED listening to her sing. Before last night though, I hadn't heard her since we left Virginia Beach so I was so glad to hear her again and more than a little surprised by how much her voice has matured. Her style is still all Felicia but even better than I remember. I know God is going to use this time in her life for His glory whether she makes it another round or not. Of course, I did do my part by voting like crazy in hopes that she does in fact make it another round or two or three...

Be blessed.
Melanie

Lessons from a Volcano

2009-02-20T12:59:00.000-05:00

This morning, my son gave a book talk at school. The kids were instructed to pick a book, read it through and create a project to go with it, either a model, poster, diarama, etc. and then present it to the class and parents. My son decided to do his on volcanos because...well, he's fascinated by natural disasters, frankly.

Last week, we finished his volcano book together and the Lord showed me something really cool. This book was good and I learned a lot of stuff about volcanos I certainly never knew before. One of volcanos they showed was Mount St. Helens in Washington. That's a picture of it above. Throughout the book, it talked about the volcano's power and showed picture after picture of the devastation left in the aftermath of an eruption (incl the one above). Beautiful, lush landscapes and thriving villages utterly destroyed and left a dead, ugly wasteland. Or are they?

According to the book, while volcanic eruptions can bring absolute devastation, they can also bring renewal. Because of the minerals and nutrients in the ash, not only does plant life grow back quickly, it grows back even stronger than before the eruption. As my son and I read that, I sensed the Lord saying to my heart that that's what He can do in a life entrusted to Him.

I can think of several examples right off the top of my head of people whose lives have felt or currently feel like a volcanic eruption, feeling devastated by life's circumstances. I recently spoke with a woman who's been there. I asked her what she was able to hold on to during that time. The first thing she said was the Word of God - her Bible, sometimes literally walking around clutching it. She then said that in spite of how terrible the circumstances were, she believes that because of what God did in her through those circumstances, today she is stronger and in a better place emotionally, spiritually, etc. than she ever was before it all began. I didn't say anything about the whole volcano thing but it was if the Lord was saying to me "See? I told you; this is what I do."

Most of us with a sound mind would never purposely seek out painful, life-altering experiences any more than we would purposely seek to suffer the devastation of a volcanic eruption (with the exception perhaps of those who study volcanoes - called 'Volcanologists' in case you wanted to know, though it sounds more like a Star Trek term to me).

As hard as it may be to swallow, it's no secret that God sometimes allows hard times to come into our lives that would like to shake us to our very foundation. But, like the volcano, if we entrust our lives and those hard times to our always faithful God, He promises to give us "beauty for ashes" Isaiah 61:3.

Be blessed.
Melanie

What Were They Thinkin???

2009-02-11T23:19:00.005-05:00

UPDATE: Because one of the contestants who made the top 36 was ruled ineligible, FELICIA BARTON IS NOW BACK IN!!!!!!! There is no one who can who can mess with God's plan for His child - wherever and however He chooses for it to take her. I LOVE IT!!!!!

I have never been a huge American Idol fan but I've been watching ever since I learned that Felicia Barton was going to be on. See, Felicia is the daughter of our pastor from Virginia Beach, VA and I haven't seen or been in touch with them since we moved from there about 6 years ago. I couldn't have been happier for her getting on the show.

I missed her audition show but have watched faithfully since, hoping to see her and hear her incredible voice. Unfortunately, they sent her home tonight. What were they thinkin??? I was surprised a few times by the people they sent packing and possibly even more surprised to see the ones they kept! I don't know how long Tatiana's voice, however great it is (and it's pretty stinkin' good), but I don't know how long that's going to carry her. God bless her, but she's really annoying to watch. And Nathaniel? Oh.My.Word The blubbering has got to stop and that's all I'm going to say about him.

Instead, back to Felicia. In case you're not sure who she is 'cause frankly they didn't spotlight her nearly enough, check out the video below. This is what everyone will be missing. I think she's fabulous and know God has a wonderful plan for this child of His.

Be blessed.
Melanie

There's Hope for My Soap

2009-02-10T17:48:00.009-05:00

I have a little confession to make. I'm a soap opera watcher - Guiding Light, specifically (and As the World Turns occassionally). My grandmother listened to Guiding Light when it was on radio, my mother grew up on it and continued to watch, and I, in turn, grew up watching it and got hooked as well. When I was in high school, it came on at 3:00 in the afternoon which was great. I'd get home from school, watch GL and when it finished, I'd go deliver my newspapers (this is back in the day when kids were still able to have paper routes). When I started working full-time, I understandably, had to stop watching though I would catch up on days off or when home sick or something. After I became a stay-at-home mom, I started to watch fairly regularly again.

As is common with the soaps, they all go through periods where they make a bunch of bone-headed moves like getting rid of characters that are fan-favorites and GL is no exception. They have certainly made their fair share of bone-headed firings or lame attempts at keeping favorite actors. The late, great Michael Zaslow comes to mind. He played Roger Thorpe, making that character the.absolute.best bad guy you ever loved to hate.

Over the years, I've been disappointed numerous times by the actors they let go or the characters they killed off but none so much as when they got rid of Grant Aleksander about five years ago; he had played Philip Spaulding for the better part of 22 years(thankfully no one is ever really dead in soapdom). That was, to many GL fans (myself included), the worst move in a long history of bad moves. I continued to watch though (mostly online at night) until a little over a year ago when the storylines became just too boring to take and too many of my favorite actors and characters had disappeared (Jerry ver Dorn as Ross Marler; Paul Anthony Stewart as Danny Santos; Laura Wright as Cassie; Ricky Paul Golden and Beth Ehlers as Gus and Harley and others too). The powers that be over at CBS and Guiding Light were, in my opinion, causing a slow, painful death to my favorite and the longest running soap in daytime history and not doing enough justice to some of my remaining favorites like Ron Raines, Kim Zimmer, Robert Newman, Jordan Clark and others.

BUT, and the point of this entire, likely interesting-only-to-me post, a glimmer of hope has returned to my soap in the long-awaited return of Grant Aleksander. Yes, Philip Spaulding has returned to Springfield and though it's only been two days, I am delighted. I have been looking forward to this week for about a month, and, at least for a little while I think, I'm going to enjoy watching my favorite soap again.

Hope you've had some fun little something to look forward to this week too.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Here We Go Again

2009-02-08T19:20:00.006-05:00

Have I ever told you that my husband and I have moved eight times in 14+ years of marriage? I would never in a million years have imagined that I would move that frequently. I am a native New Yorker (Long Island to narrow it down a bit). For generations, my family were native New Yorkers. Now they'll correct me if I'm wrong but my grandmother grew up, since infancy, in the same farm house that she later moved back into with her own husband and children and lived there 'till she died at 96 yrs old (of course by that time it was no longer a farm house though still a large house). Three out of her seven children continued to live in that same house and eventually added spouses and children of their own. Three of the remaining four were within a 30 minute drive (one of which was only a couple of blocks away and still lives there to this day) and only one left the state for South Carolina.

My point is that, for me, moving around this much feels unnatural. BUT, for better or worse, we've decided to do it again. Yes, we've put our house up for sale in good ol' PA and are hoping to head south again, possibly to FL or NC. We are so praying that we are sensing and following God's lead on this and would welcome your prayers for wisdom and direction. 'Cause otherwise this is a pointless, unfun challenge to my meager domestication abilities.

I am not exactly a housekeeping goddess and now with the house up for sale and in THIS kind of housing market, everything has be as near perfect as possible. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a slob or anything but under normal circumstances, if I go to work and the beds aren't made, no biggie; dishes left in the sink? I'll get 'em when I get home or perhaps before bed (the next day?). Laundry up the waazoo and not one pair of clean socks left? Well, Target's up the street if you're THAT desperate. Just kidding, but you get my point. Oh the pressure!!!

I will say though, the house looks pretty stinkin' good. I could actually live here...'till June, 'cause we really want to be out by June.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Friday Favorites

2009-02-06T12:33:00.003-05:00

Ok, let me say right off the bat, I have not been terribly consistent with posting things on a specified day. Honestly life gets so busy and even with ADD meds, I can still be pretty ~~flaky~~ forgetful. That being said, under the inspiration of a couple of people - a blog I visited recently and a Facebook friend, I have decided to designate Fridays as Friday Favorites. Each Friday I will post about one of my favorite things; it could be anything - movies, food, songs, a childhood memory - anything. I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear back from you. Feel free to join in and add a Friday Favorite to your own blog and let me know 'cause I'd love to check it out.

My first Friday Favorite is........ My favorite scene from my favorite movie, Singing in the Rain. This was hard to pick too because I just love the whole movie and I couldn't very well put a two hour movie on my blog (could I?). Hope you like. This scene makes me smile no matter how many times I see it.

Be blessed.
Melanie

How's Your View?

2009-02-04T08:31:00.005-05:00

And what's the view like out your door this morning?

Hope God wows you today too. Be blessed.

Melanie

What Will They Think of Next?

2009-01-21T18:25:00.011-05:00

Did you know that your fingers have a little bone called a volar plate? Well they do. It's there to prevent your finger from bending backwards or "hyper-extending" as the doctor would say. Wanna know how I know that? 'Cause I broke mine. Yeah, I'm a dope.

About a week and a half ago I was outside with my son and as I swung my arm, the tip of my finger hit the car and bent my finger back further than it's meant to go. Then I saw the prettiest stars. Anyway, I finally went to the doctor this past Monday and xrays confirmed the minor break. I actually chipped a piece of the bone off. You can see it in the xray - which I got to keep.

Now what's cool is this neat finger splint that was made for me; I think they called it a ring splint. Well I just think they come up with the most clever stuff. The orthopedic doc wanted to buddy tape my two fingers together but because I do a lot of typing on my job he suggested this nifty little thing. I have to wear it for a month but I have nearly full range of motion (or at least as much as the broken bone will allow until it heals) and the splint prevents further hyperextension.

I wish I had asked if it came in colors. Pink would have been nice.

Flashback Friday

2009-01-16T16:55:00.005-05:00

Anne over at My Tiny Kingdom had a great idea for Fridays called Flashback Friday. I'm not following along exactly as she said 'cause I honestly had a bit of a flashback of my own today and thought I'd share it.

I was asked today what Bible verse would I share with someone about to have a baby. I knew just the one it was and I'll never forget when God gave it to me. I was just home from the hospital with my firstborn and attempting to nurse her in my glider chair (it took a while to get the nursing thing down). I sat there, hormones raging, rocking and looking at this precious little miracle in my arms and feeling overwhelmed with awe and love and also the weirdness that I, the youngest in my family, was now a mother myself. I started to cry and pray asking God "Are You sure you know what you're doing allowing me to be a mother? I don't know what the heck I'm doing; kids don't like me; I've never even babysat in my life. I know nothing about kids. Lord, look at her. I need Your help if I'm gonna do this even close to right." He then reminded me of James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I laughed and felt so grateful that God would not only give me what I lacked and do so generously but also that He would never think I was jerk for asking even the most basic questions. LOL I'm still grateful and I'm still asking and He's still providing. Praise His Name!

Lemme tell ya, It was fun going through all those baby pictures of my sweet girl too. I think I'm gonna like Flashback Fridays.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Advice For The Ridiculously Picky Eater

2009-01-15T20:52:00.005-05:00

Ok, I need help. My 8 year old son is THE worst eater. E-VER. No kidding. I thought my daughter was bad and she was, but she has greatly improved and I don't really think she was quite as bad as my boy. Peanut butter, grape juice, chicken nuggets and a multi-vitamin are what keep my kid alive. There has got to be a better way than the daily arguments over eating that take place in our home to get something healthy into this kid who likes NOTHING. Some ~~sneaky~~ creative ways to slip a veggie or fruit into something? Keep in mind I'm ~~a lousy cook~~ domestically challenged.

Ok, watcha got?

Melanie

Siesta Scripture Memory

2009-01-15T13:36:00.008-05:00

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

At the end of December, Bible study teacher/author, Beth Moore, issued an invitation to one and all through her blog to join her in striving to memorize two scriptures a month. On the 1st and 15th of each month, you can pop on over to her blog at Living Proof Ministries and add the scripture God has placed on your heart to memorize. She also includes memorization tips, etc. You can click here too for the original post where she went into detail about the idea. I've had a sense in my heart for some time that God wants me to hide his Word in my heart more than I have and I thought this would be a great way to start doing that.

So that's my scripture above. With some of the circumstances that have, in the last couple of weeks, surrounded me and people that I care very much about, I found this scripture very encouraging.

What has God given you to stand on recently?

Be blessed.
Melanie

New Year's Resolve

2008-12-30T12:13:00.007-05:00

My mom rarely makes promises so when she does, you can pretty much take it to the bank. She doesn't make 'em 'cause she knows life happens and she doesn't want to risk breaking her word. Her word is important to her and she wants it to mean something to others too. I feel the same way which is why I've never been too keen on making New Year's resolutions. Afterall that's basically a promise you make to yourself (or others, too, I suppose).

I tend to think that, for me, New Year's resolutions are a setup for failure. I'm very reluctant to risk breaking a promise to others yet I seem pretty careless about it when it comes to myself. In years past, I'd go into it with all sincerity and determination to succeed but usually by mid-February, I'd trip up and fall flat on my face. Then I'd pick myself back up and try, try again, but by spring I was done; the extra pounds still there, the new discipline not formed, the goal not reached. And I would feel like L.O.S.E.R. - Again. So I finally decided to stop doing that to myself. I decided that it's good to set goals (and January does give you that clean slate feeling) and to work hard to attain them but to tie them to a promise - even just to myself - was just not fair 'cause I know I don't show myself nearly the amount of grace that I would show someone else over their broken promise. But, with each January, still comes the question "To make a resolution or to not make a resolution?"

As I was driving today, I thought about the word itself. Resolution. Resolve. Somehow in my brain there's a bigger difference between the two words than one's a noun and the other, a verb. Maybe it's because of my experience with the words. Resolution seems kind of shallow to me. It's something I think up - a list of changes. But to resolve. Now, that's a little deeper. To me, to resolve, is a matter of the heart. There's conviction there. I thought of the Bible study I've been doing on Daniel. He resolved - do you remember?

In Daniel 1:8, after King Nebuchadnezzar had taken Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah captive (among others from Judah), "Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way." (italics mine) Daniel felt personally convicted against eating anything that was considered unclean according to God's law. Not only that but he and his three friends were deeply convicted and...resolute...to stay true to their God in every way - no matter the consequences; and they suffered consequences.

Like I said earlier, January does bring this feeling of a fresh start and there are things I'd like to change - eat better, exercise more, blah, blah, blah. Then there are things that are closer to my heart - finding creative ways to spend quality time as a family; ensuring I have my time with the Lord and in His Word daily. These are very important to me. But is there something I resolve to do? Maybe there is but I think it comes more in the form of a prayer because it's a change that I can't make on my own; it's got to come from God.

I hesitate to share it for a couple of reasons. One, because it probably sounds kind of corny or cliche and two, because the last thing I want to do is come off sounding holier than thou or like some kind of phony but considering there are only maybe four of you that actually read this blog that I'm aware of, I guess it's a fairly safe risk. Besides the Lord is the judge of my heart. Anyway, I've resolved to seek God more than ever before, to give Him my whole heart and, to the best of my ability, not to hold anything back. I've struggled with giving certain things over to Him but like Beth Moore often says we can either bend our knees over a matter or God can bend 'em for us. While God is always loving even in His discipline, I think I'd still rather opt for the first one. I've never been a big fan of unnecessary discipline.

May you have a very safe and blessed New Year's. May you sense God's presence in your life greater this coming year than ever before and may He ignite a fresh fire in your spirit for Him.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Can't.wake.up...zzzzzzz

2008-12-27T18:57:00.016-05:00

Oh my gosh. Christmas has been over for two days and I just can't seem to do much of anything nor do I want to. Not at all. I want to crawl into my flannel-sheeted comfy bed and stay there for the rest of winter. Wake me in spring.

Alas, we all know that won't happen so instead here's a couple of pics from Christmas. Later all.

Melanie

He's a very happy boy.

Just what she was hoping for.

The picture didn't show up as well as I'd hoped from the outside. Oh well.

And of course it never looks all that great from the inside...

I did like my bannister though...just wish I'd bought two of these.

Even the animals had fun with their gifts...

A little top heavy, but festive...

More to come...

Be a Mary

2008-12-24T16:04:00.013-05:00

This morning didn't start out too well. As I was about to get ready for work this morning, I learned that my daughter had taken my favorite hairbrush to school with her yesterday and then left it there and/or lost it. My hair just doesn't turn out the same way with any other brush. I don't know why, it just doesn't. Well, I wasn't a happy camper. Then my plans to work from 9am-12 noon, followed by an afternoon of Christmas prep (baking, cleaning, wrapping) an evening of dinner with friends and a lovely Christmas Eve church service) was foiled by the sheet of ice that was my driveway. I nearly fell three times this morning just trying to get to the car door. So I turned myself around and gingerly made my way back inside the house to wait for things to thaw a bit (it was supposed to get to all of 50 degrees today). I left the house by 11:15 and left work by 2:00. Everything has been pushed back and I was more than a little stressed and really very cranky, especially this morning. (Yeah, I felt a little evil this morning.)

On top of that, I'm pms-ing (hence the feeling evil), I've been shopping and wrapping and decorating and planning and crafting and running for what seems likes weeks (2 probably). I've been wanting to download some pics to post here - some of my house like everybody did on Boo-Mama's Tour of Homes as well as some of what the kids and I have been up to but there's just too much to do! IT'S CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE!!!!

THEN...As I'm cleaning some mess up outside, I hear a big CRASH inside and it turns out my daughter accidently knocked over a vase I've had for years. There were broken pottery shards everywhere. My daughter had this look on her face like "oh boy, mama's gonna blow." As I looked at the broken pieces all over my floor, I suddenly felt calm. I thought, somebody's tryin' to steal my joy and I am so not gonna let it happen. The story of Martha and her sister, Mary from the book of Luke chapter 10 came to mind. When Jesus came to their village, Martha invited Him and His disciples into their home. But, while Martha busied herself preparing a meal for everyone, Mary just sat at Jesus' feet the whole time listening to everything He had to say.

After I pondered this story for a moment, I told my daughter not worry; I'm not mad. I knew it was an accident. It is Christmas Eve, the day before we celebrate our Savior being born. All this other stuff is piddly in comparison. Yes, I have been spinning my wheels just like so many others this time of year. This is truly prime season for all Marthas. But in the midst of cleaning up the broken vase, I realized that even more, I need to be a Mary.

Yes, Martha, let's prepare, let's make a good meal, create a warm and inviting atmostphere and show love to our family and friends; let's do it and do it well. But in the midst of it, don't forget to be a Mary and worship our God. He sent His only Son to be humbly born in a lowly manger and to ultimately die for our sins. Like Mary, I want to be at His feet and hear what He has to say.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

Merry Christmas! May His Name be praised and may you be blessed.
Melanie

It's On My Heart

2008-11-23T21:00:00.011-05:00

It has been nearly a month since my last post and no I did not fall off the face of the earth nor did I quit bloggin' though it surely seemed that way. Thanks, Calista for checkin' in on me. It feels good to hear I've been missed.

My days have just been soooooo busy. My beloved hubby who works in the insurance industry had been down South handling Hurricane Ike insurance claims for six loooooonnnnngggg weeks and finally came home Nov 8. And it was about time, lemme tell ya. He's traveled for long periods of time before - the longest, I think, was four months, but this trip just seemed particularly hard. There was a lot to handle during that time - Apollo's many medical mishaps and involved aftercare (all with kids in tow); financial stress; ADHD concerns/testing/evaluations for my son AND myself; work; school commitments and more - and all of it simultaneously, without an extra set of hands to help out - not even family nearby. It was very stressful and more than once toward the end of the six weeks, I was reduced to sobs crying out to God for wisdom, help and strength.

Now, I don't know for sure why God allowed me to go through all of that but I will say that it has opened my eyes to something and because of that, I'm grateful to Him. There are so many women - men too, perhaps, but so many women out there going through similar things...on their own...and their situation will likely not get much easier after six short weeks. For many of them, they don't have a husband who's coming home to them anytime soon. As difficult as it may have felt to me, my husband was still working hard to support me and our family. Single mothers are going it alone and many have been for a long time.

I am blessed to work at a wonderful church that has recently begun to minister to these women and I have been in a position to hear some of their stories. Can I tell you, these women have gripped my heart.

While hubby was away, the light switch in the bathroom died. Had it happened when he was home, he could have and would have fixed it easily and quickly. I, on the otherhand, didn't have a clue of course so I fixed it my way - I took my daughter's desk lamp with the purple shade and put it on the bathroom sink. It didn't fix the switch but at least we had light and the hue from the purple shade added a nice touch of ambiance, in my opinion. Within several days, hubby got a friend of his to come over and fix the switch for us.

What happened to me is a common challenge for the single mom. Maybe a light switch, a jiggly handle on the toilet or a minor computer issue. I know there are plenty of women out there who are very handy but I also believe there are even more who, like me, aren't. Not only do they not have a husband to handle that stuff, many don't even have families living nearby to help them out and their financial resources are sorely limited. Something as easy as raking the leaves is a challenge simply because there's not enough time in the day to do all that needs to be done and they've got to prioritize. They're having to work full time, take care of their kids and run a household all by themselves and that's not even considering the things that you can't plan for that throws a wrench into even the best scheduled person's plans - the death of a parent, the emotional torment of a difficult divorce, your own medical issues, teenage angst, for cryin' out loud.

While hubby was gone, I tried to get out and rake our leaves. The yard was a big mess and I like raking the leaves. Unfortunately, because Apollo has grown very strong (he's about 50lbs now) and still pulls on his leash with all his might, I now have quite a bit of pain in my right shoulder from trying to restrain him. I couldn't rake. My shoulder was killing me. But, like so many others, money's tight right now too so we really didn't want to have to pay someone to do it. Thankfully my neighbor helped us out and did the front and back yards for a reasonable amount until hubby got home.

Something else I've noticed in some single moms, something I can totally relate to; it's very hard to ask for or receive help. Maybe it's women in general but it seems like there's this guilt thing going on or something. During that 4-month stint my husband was away on hurricane duty a couple of years ago, a woman from the church we were going to at the time, came to me and asked if I would like to have meals brought over for me and my kids occassionally. My immediate response was "No, I'm not sick or just out of the hospital or something. I mean, I can cook." She said "I know you can ; what I'm asking is would it make your life a little easier to have a home-cooked meal already prepared for you and the kids with very little clean-up afterward - yes or no?" Well, I jokingly told her "Anytime I don't have to cook makes my life easier." She said "That settles it. Until your hubby gets home, you guys will receive a meal at least once a week." And they did - faithfully. I've never been so humbled.

So why do I share all of this? What's the point? Well...it's on my heart. But also, I believe that God is opening my eyes and when you feel like you're seeing something really big, you want to know if others see it too and if not, you want to make them look. Like I said, these women, their stories, their strengths and their weaknesses have just gripped my heart. And I don't think they're really ones to draw attention to themselves.

The single moms I've known don't go around sharing what's really going on in their hearts and they will rarely ask for help. They will do their best to be strong and capable for themselves and their kids. But in the quiet of the night or maybe just the shower, the very real truth is many are overwhelmed and hurting and few people will ever know the extent of it because these moms feel like there are others far more in need and deserving of assistance than they are. But God hears their cries and He wants to bring healing for their hurts. And as His body, we can be a part of that.

I have to tell you what I've been seeing as my church reaches out to the single moms in our community. There are a group of people who have begun helping these moms with the kind of stuff I wrote about. Stuff around their home or a home-cooked meal in throw-away pans. The reaction? The women are blown away. They've said stuff like they "didn't think the church really cared about them." They've said with tears flowing "This is an answer to prayer!"

Folks, this is huge! From what I'm hearing, this is a group of people who have felt largely overlooked. And we can do something about that! That excites me. I don't know that I'll ever have an opportunity to do any kind of missions work in another country; I may never get to see first-hand God move powerfully in an inner-city. But I can show God's love to the single mom in my neighborhood who's raising three kids while still dealing with the effects of a nasty divorce all while walking along side a loved one through their battle with cancer. I can bring that meal, I can watch her kids, I can pray for her, with her... and I can tell her God loves her because it's true.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me.'" Matthew 25:40

May you be blessed and give thanks to our very generous God who did not hold back even His own Son so that we might live. Hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Melanie

Livin' Life in Hindsight

2008-10-30T09:20:00.002-04:00

Have you ever wished you had the gift of foresight? Sometimes, I think perhaps I do but that's usually when I'm reflecting back on a situation that went wrong and realize the thought had occurred to me to do something different which I ignored. Kind of like what I wrote about in the last post.

I'm pretty sure I have the gift of hindsight. It's a gift available to just about anyone if you're paying attention. You see, it's been a rough couple of weeks, really draining. At the end of each day I've collapsed into bed and rebelled against the alarm clock each morning. Because my days (and my mind) have been filled beyond measure, I've been unable to make time for my daily Bible study. I really don't know how I would have done it but I wish I had.

I got an email from someone in my small group the other day and she mentioned how encouraging this past week's readings were. Apparently it spoke of God's provision and protection. That reminder would have been a real encouragment in the middle of all that's been going on. I mean, it still is now - now when, Lord willing, I'm nearing the tail end of all this.

I guess my point is this - and take it from one with the gift of hindsight, (which you know is 20/20) - stay in the Word of God no matter what! Like my sister always says, even if it's just a verse or a short passage, read something of God's Word. And then meditate on it. God's word is alive and active. Keeping our eyes and our deeper focus on God through the rough times is what will get us through them without feeling like we've been run over by a bus. Now me? I can still smell the exhaust fumes but I'm lookin' up again.

One good thing about hindsight is that there's always a lesson to be learned if we're paying attention. I just wish I didn't have to repeat the class so much.

But what about you? What verses are getting you through your tough times? I'd love to hear.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Not Again...

2008-10-22T18:15:00.010-04:00

I'm having another one of those days. Haven't I said that recently? I feel like I've been having quite a few of those lately.

I had a strong feeling this morning that I should not have been bringing Apollo down to the bus stop this morning. But do I listen to myself? Nooooooooo! He's been pulling on his leash like crazy lately - more so than usual and that little voice in my head said I should just leave him home.

Well, I didn't. He loves going down to the bus stop in the morning. He's like a celebrity down there. The kids love him; the adults love him; and Fred the black lab loves him too. They're good buds and always enjoy a little play time after the kids get on the bus.

Unfortunately, today things went a little awry (not a word I use everyday but it is what happened). After the kids got on the bus, Fred's dad and I brought the dogs together for their little howdy-do time and things were great until Apollo somehow got his toe stuck in Fred's collar. I'm tellin' you it was the freakiest thing I've ever seen. They wouldn't have been able to do that on purpose if they tried. Both dogs freaked out and were scared to death. Apollo got dragged a bit and dripped blood from his toe all the way home. I managed to get the bleeding stopped but things didn't look so good so I brought him to the vet to have him checked out and good thing I did.

He needed stitches between his toes and unfortunately had to be completely sedated to do it. So a simple, inexpensive procedure it was not. Oi Vey. Just when you think you have a chance to get out from behind the 8 ball, life happens. As they dragged him to the back, the poor thing was fighting to get back to me, crying and looking at me like he was pleading for me to save him from a fate worse than death.

Now the poor little(?) guy has his foot all bandaged up and lampshade (aka Elizabethan Collar) on his head. Just pitiful.

**P.S. It seems the stupic collar isn't keeping him from getting to his foot! Joy. Guess who's not gonna sleep well tonight.

***P.S.S. Well, I think we all slept most of the night anyway but the bonehead this morning got the cone off his head!!! Unbelievable. Off to get a BIGGER lampshade.

Kids Do Say the Darndest Things

2008-10-17T11:25:00.003-04:00

I was up at my kids' school today helping with health screenings - you know the whole weight, eyes and hearing checks, etc. My job was to usher the kids back and forth between rooms. Eyes and weight in this room, hearing across the hall. I really like this job 'cause I get to talk to the kids a little bit while they wait plus I'm usually able to catch one of my own kids either during the screening itself or just in the hallway between classes. That always gives my heart (and my face) a smile. I love their reaction when they see me so unexpectedly.

Anyway, I had a group of kindergardeners waiting to for their hearing test and with the school all decorated with fall themes made by the kids, I asked them to sit on the floor behind the scarecrow that's pasted on the wall. I told them he was the lineleader - they all respect that. Across from him was another scarecrow only this one didn't have a mouth as one of boys pointed out. So I asked them why they thought that was. One boy said it was because the scarecrow was cold so he had to pull his shirt up over his face (and demonstrated what he meant). Then one of the other boys said - and this totally cracked me up - that someone must have farted and it smelled bad so he pulled his shirt up as he pointed out that the tip of the scarecrow's nose was indeed covered by the shirt.

Sounds to me as if this boy or someone close to him has had some experience in the matter. I cracked up.

Hope you're having a sweet-smelling day.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Time to Pick the Pumpkins

2008-10-12T20:42:00.012-04:00

It was time for our annual pumpkin picking outing. We had a good time, met up unexpectedly with some friends and came back with a few good finds. Now where are my carving tools?

I wish I had taken my sunglasses off;
this would have been a good picture.

Be blessed.
Melanie

What's in a Name?

2008-10-11T12:27:00.009-04:00

Quite a lot, I'm learning. Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego. Perhaps you know the story in Daniel. The 3 of them thrown into the fiery furnace only to be rescued by God. I don't usually think of those names only one at a time either - they all go together - those names just flow; I don't separate them. Kind of like the 3 musketeers or something.

In those days, names weren't just what people went by, they were a person's very identity. Can you, without looking it up, remember what their original names were? Did you even know that they had other names? I didn't remember that and I certainly couldn't have told you what they were - until today. Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego, taken captive along with the rest of the Israelites, were the names the Babylonian king, Nebuchadnezzar, gave to them and they each had meaning identifying them with the gods of the Babylonians. Their Hebrew names (and meanings), however, given them at birth were (in the same order), Hananiah (Yah has been gracious), Mishael (Who is what God is) and Azariah (Yah has helped). Nebuchadnezzar wanted them to completely forget who they were and identify themselves completely with their new culture. Can you imagine how insulting and demeaning it must have been for these true young Israelites to be called by such idolatrous names?

Let's bring this to present day. As Beth Moore said in today's study, "In our culture, a name's sound or sentimental value is a far bigger priority than its meaning." Many don't even know what their name means. We often get our identity, however, based on what other people have told us we are. Hopefully that's been a good thing, something life-giving. Unfortunately for many that's not their story. Beth asked a question "Has the world (or worse yet, a loved one) ever tried to give you a bad name or a bad identity?" "Did you fall for it?" "Are you still falling for it?"

Over the years, I came to believe a big part of my identity was "Unable". That there were others far better able at (fill in the blank) than I was. This led me to not even bother trying and I settled for a life of mediocrity. No more. Thankfully God has been revealing a completely different identity - one that's in Him. God says to and of me "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Also, "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." (Phil 2:13)

How about you? Whose identity are you going to take? One of this world fathered by the father of lies or the one, true God, the Father of life? Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. From now on, I'm going to try to remember them for who they truly were - who God meant and proved them to be. I don't want to remember them just by their Babylonian names any more than I'd want myself to be remembered simply by my life outside of Christ.

By the way, my first name means "dark". My middle name, Ann, I just found out, means gracious, merciful. While I like the sound of my first name, I've never much cared for its meaning. And I never even thought to look up the meaning of my middle name 'cause I never liked it. I thought it was boring; Now I think I was wrong. Now, it seems like I have my whole testimony and a constant reminder of what God's done in my life wrapped up into my two names - grace and mercy followed the darkness. Indeed it did. Praise His Name!

Be blessed.
Melanie

A New Day Has Dawned

2008-10-09T11:01:00.012-04:00

Things often seem better in the light of a new day and today is no different. A little sleep doesn't hurt either.

Apollo is still definitely not back to himself by any means, but he does seem some better. He slept the whole night and today he's mellow and restless at the same time. I had him in his crate just to try to keep him quiet and get some rest but I noticed he was shivering so I put a towel on the couch and let him go up and cuddle next to his favorite girl. He fell right to sleep.

Yes, sleep is a beautiful thing.

Hope you're having a good day.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Stick Me With a Fork, I Am Done

2008-10-08T22:52:00.002-04:00

I should be going to bed right now because I am utterly exhausted. I mean emotionally, physically, eyes burning, tired. What a night it's been. I guess I just need to share before I crash.

First, I had to finally tell my pastor and worship leader, both of whom I love and respect immensely, that we believe God is calling us to a different church. I had been procrastinating on this for a while because, well, I knew it would be hard. I love this body of believers and they have meant so much to me and my family and I have poured so much of my own heart out there. As much as I believe we're doing what God is leading us to do, I had hoped it would be easier. I don't know why. From past experience I know that some of what God asks of me is not necessarily easy. I feel like I broke up with someone and asked them if we could still be friends. Is that ridiculous? You know what? Don't answer that. At least for a couple of days until I get some sleep, have had time to pray some more about it and can think with some clarity. Until then, please be kind.

Then after crying my eyes out there, I come home to find that Apollo has thrown up all over his crate and as I got him outside, he continued to throw up, was walking weird, stretching his back legs out straight, drooling like a broken faucet and generally looked awful. I was really worried and called the vet who had me come straight over.

After taking an xray they found what looked like tiny bone chips in his stomach. She said it looked like about 20 of them though when I looked at it, I didn't think it looked like quite that many but what the heck do I know; I'm not the doc. Anyway, she gave him all kinds of meds and fluids and some special high-fiber food to get things moving so he can hopefully pass them. I've got to give him Mylanta twice a day before eating. When we got home from the vet I still had to clean the mess in his crate and realized that part of what he had thrown up were these stupid red landscaping rocks we've got in our backyard. Now that didn't look like what I saw in the xray so I'm wondering if it was the rocks that made him get sick and the bones were already there. I don't know. I guess I'll call the vet in the morning.

I just feel awful for not keeping a better eye on him and I don't know if it's my own guilty imagination or what but I swear it seemed like the vet and company were lookin' and talkin' to me like I was just some irresponsible pet owner or something not worthy of this precious little guy. Now you all know we are just crazy about this dog. My poor daughter was beside herself with worry - I think having flashbacks about when we had to put our cocker spaniel down a little over a year ago. Poor kid had to go the bathroom twice and sat outside a couple of times to get some fresh air, pray and calm down a bit.

All of this on top of being concerned that my son's teacher wants a special conference. She did tell me why and it's nothing horrible and I'm sure I'll probably post about it in the future but for now, it's still a concern all the same.

But like my daddy used to say, "This too shall pass" (hopefully literally in Apollo's case). Beside, in about 15 minutes, it'll be a whole new 24 hour period. Glad to put this day behind me. Later, folks.

Be blessed.
Melanie

An Apollo Fix

2008-10-07T16:18:00.006-04:00

It's been a whole two weeks or so since I've posted on Apollo and I've got pics to share! Many of us know that having a puppy in the house is, in many ways, like having a baby around (only without the diapers! sigh...). Well, like any mother of a toddler knows, if it's too quiet, check 'em! They are surely up to no good. I was getting ready for work this morning and took the risk of leaving Apollo unsupervised since he seemed perfectly content laying on his blanket playing with his chew-toy. Well, as I flat-ironed my hair I thought it had been a little while, I should probably check on him. This first picture is what I found. Notice he still had his toy.

As adorable as he was I did kick him off - but not before I got the picture!

Still lovin' the sand

And the leaves...

And this is just plain cute.

Hope you liked. Be blessed.
Melanie

What do you think?

2008-10-04T13:12:00.002-04:00

"You are SO mean!" "That's not FAIR!" "HER mom let's HER do it!"

Do those words have a ring of familiarity at all to you? I'm almost certain I've spoken them in my lifetime (although probably not the first one 'cause I liked my head where it was and didn't want it handed to me but the other two for sure). I did however have them spoken to me today and it got me a little curious, hence the poll to the right. Let me explain.

Today my 10 year old daughter's friend (also 10) came by on her bike; she lives several blocks away. Each time this friend (who I like very much by the way) comes by, my daughter wants to go bike riding around the neighborhood with her and my answer is the same each time - no, you're not old enough. It's a safety thing, particularly with some of the stuff going on in our neighborhood right now. She proceeded to ask how old she has to be to be allowed and I said 12. Of course, she had a hissy fit and that's fine. I have my reasons and I'm perfectly comfortable with my answer.

This has been a conversation some other moms and I have been having lately too - at what age do we let our kids go riding around the neighborhood? So, I'm curious, what do you think? Obviously an individual child's maturity level and the type of neighborhood one lives in might influence one's answer but generally speaking at what age have you or will you allow your kids to go riding with friends or alone without adult supervision?

Feel free to take my poll at the right, comment below or both. Thanks for your input.

Be blessed.
Melanie

A Sobering Reminder

2008-10-01T12:27:00.008-04:00

Because I have a tendency to lean toward being a bit serious with myself and life in general (who said drama queen???), I love opportunities to laugh. I love spending time with funny people. I'll take Scrubs over CSI or Monk over Law and Order most days of the week. But life is about balance and there are serious things that absolutely deserve and warrent our attention.

Now, if you have visited my blog for any length of time, you probably have noticed that I am a big fan of Beth Moore, her Bible studies and writings and a regular visitor to her blog. Her daughter, Amanda, seems to have some of the same giftings as her mom and posted an incredible message on the blog today. It's something, I believe, we all need to be reminded of...I was going to say from time to time, but on second thought, it deserves more than that. Let's allow it to remain in the forefront of our minds; let it impact our prayers and our conversations with others. It is not funny but it is of the utmost importance.

Can I encourage you to pop on over to Beth's blog and read Amanda's post entitled "There Is A Rescuer" for yourself? I think you'll be blessed. I certainly was. Here's the link.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Seven Random Things

2008-09-29T16:31:00.002-04:00

Well, I was visiting my blogger buddy, Lynn's blog at Somewhere in the Middle and she got tagged to share seven random things about herself. She then invited anyone who wanted to join in to do so. So here goes (yes, I tagged myself). What!? It's fun.

Ok, seven random things about myself...This is actually hard - how weird do I want to let you know I am? Hmmm.

1) I often pop a Lord of the Rings dvd in while I sort or fold laundry. Not always, mind you...but often. Sometimes I listen to one of Beth Moore's messages or I download a message from church.

2) I prefer Diet Coke over Diet Pepsi.

3) I am a major procrastinator when I have to do something I consider difficult or potentially unpleasant.

4) Growing up, I dreamed of performing (ok, starring) in a Broadway musical. Closest I ever got was when my friend, Gerry, got us front row, center seats to see Peter Pan starring Cathy Rigby. We were right behind the orchestra pit and I could even see back stage. Not the dream but still very fun.

5) I spend a lot of time on the computer to the neglect of - ugggh - housework.

6) My favorite comfort food is peanut butter and jelly WITH a glass of chocolate milk, preferable Nesquik.

7) I crave afternoon naps.

So there you have it. My seven random things. Now, I'm supposed to tag seven other people but I don't know that many blogs, so I'll tag the ones I know and if you're reading this and want to play along, consider yourself tagged. C'mon, it's fun. Let me know if you do 'cause I'd like to read yours too.

Tag, you're it!

Tater Mama at TaterTales
Elaine at Peace for the Journey
Calista at Can I Get a Witness?
Nancy at Olive Leave Ministies

Be blessed!
Melanie

Eeeby-Jeebies

2008-09-28T14:53:00.002-04:00

I'm guessing it's all the rain we've had lately but the stink bugs are out in force the last couple of days! Let me make this perfectly clear - I HATE STINK BUGS!!!! They totally creep me out. I know they're harmless but there is something about them and their creepy little armored bodies that totally gives me the willies. I can be sitting on the couch minding my own business and all of a sudden out of nowhere comes a stink bug whizzing past my head. I sucked up about 5 of 'em into my vacuum and I know there's one I missed. I saw him by the motion detector a minute ago but now I don't know where he went. I'm sure I look ridiculous walking around my house with the vacuum attachment as long as I can make it saying in my sing-song voice, "ok, little creepy bug, where did you go?...I know you're in here..." And, even though I'm sitting momentarily at the computer, don't think for a minute that I'm not totally looking around every few seconds making sure it's not anywhere near me.

That picture above? There were actually 5 on that window, 3 on the bathroom window, 1 on the kitchen window, 2 on the living room window and...eeeewww there's the one I tried to get before and I don't think I can reach him; he's too high and I'm out of attachments. Gross.

Later.
Melanie

Go back to bed now sweetie...

2008-09-22T11:12:00.003-04:00

My kids just crack me up. Last night, my sweet, mostly asleep daughter got up out of bed and came to me and said "It's not working." Now try to hear this as she said it, half-asleep, slurring her words with her eyes only barely open.

Me: What's not working, honey?
Her: Blowing on my stomach...it's not working.
Me: Huh?
Her: The fan, blowing on my stomach...it's not working.
Me: What???

She then ruffles through some papers on the table near me, hands me our little hometown paper and says.

"Here, hold this." Then proceeds into the bathroom and then back to bed.

She has no rememrance of this whatsoever and we all enjoyed a good laugh (me for the 2nd time) this morning.

Too funny.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Just waiting...

2008-09-21T13:39:00.006-04:00

Where does the time go? I've been wanting to post but haven't had much of anything going on and I'm not nearly as witty as some of my bloggin' buddies whose blogs give me a laugh nearly every time I visit. Their humor is very Seinfeld-esqe in that they can find something funny to write about in just the day-to-day routines of life. If you haven't checked out some of the blogs to the right of my posts and you'd like a chuckle or two, by all means, give a click and check 'em out.

For me, life right now feels like the warm-up portion of a workout. I'm definitely on the go, my calendar is filling up slowly but surely and little by little activities are shifting into gear. However, we could use some prayer if you think of it. While I'm just warming up, hubby's schedule has kicked into overdrive and that means less family time and more stress on and the shifting around of already tight schedules. Thanks.

In other news, our sweet Apollo gets bigger by the hour it seems (he's 15 weeks old & 30 lbs) and is doing really well with his training. He's having fewer accidents, sleeps through the night, will sit, stay, come AND give a paw on command - that is when he wants to 'cause if he doesn't, even a flank steak won't pursuade him. I understand stubborness is a boxer trait.

I'm working on getting him to stop pulling on the leash. Why do dogs do that? Do they like that crushed esophagus feeling? I'll never understand that. I take him over to one of the local pet places for training and the trainer had the class pick an aisle to walk the dogs back and forth. One by one, the trainer worked with each dog as well and when he got to Apollo he said Apollo's doing very well. I'm thinking that's 'cause there's nothing of interest to him in the aisle; try takin' him down to the bus stop and tell me how well he does.

Well, that's it for now. I've got dishes and laundry just piling up demanding my attention. I pray all is well in your corner of the world. Hope you enjoy the latest pics.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Angel: "If I don't look at him, he doesn't exist."
Apollo: "Just a few more inches..."

My monkey...

I hate him.

Now What?

I'm glad you're comfortable.

Eager Expectations

2008-09-08T15:03:00.014-04:00

For so many reasons, this time of year is probably my favorite. I love the crisp air and the beautiful colors that I'm already seeing sprinkled throughout the trees. There's excitement all around over various start-ups about to kick in - music lessons, sports, church programs, etc. For me, what I probably get most excited about is the start-up of Women's Bible Study and I'm definitely excited over this season of study. Because I couldn't decide between two of the offerings, I decided to do both (pray for me). Actually, there are quite a number of us who are doing the same thing for the same reason so I'm in good company.

The first study is The Essential 100 (or E-100). This study will take us through 100 carefully selected readings throughout the Old and New Testaments. We've been told the readings should only take about 15 minutes or so to complete and then each week we'll gather to discuss that week's readings.

The second study will be the 6th Beth Moore study I've done - Daniel, Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy. I am completely stoked about this study. I picked up my workbook on Sunday.

So what's the reason for all the excitement? Is it that I'll get to meet and/or catch up with some ladies I've come to admire and whose company I enjoy? That's certainly part of the draw but that's not the main reason. Is it the studies themselves? Well, that's a big one for sure. I did say I was taking a Beth Moore study and I'm a total groupie, as my sister calls me. But truth be told, as much as I love Beth, that's not the only reason.

The main reason is God. After only four years of participating in Women's Bible study, I've come to expect that God is going to do amazing things in my life through the study of His Word. There's going to be stretching, growing, learning and, if He should so choose, perhaps a revelation or two (oh, I hope). Not to say these changes are easy all the time because they haven't always been. Oftentimes, stretching hurts and, for me, there's often a need for me to let go of something which can bring up a lot of fear. But, oh the grace and the mercy and the relationship that I experience in the midst of it. It's unmatched.

One of my favorite songs is Travis Cottrell's "Falling". The lyrics explain some of what I experience during each season of Bible study. I hope the link above works. If it doesn't, I've got the lyrics below.

Be blessed.
Melanie

On the edge of something big and brave
Every breath is another step of faith
Part of me still likes the ground
Where I feel safe and sound
but You push me, pull me
and I finally let go

Chorus
Falling, falling
To the heart of someone so much stronger
Falling in to love

Ever closer, closer to the truth
One by one my fears fade into blue
Wherever You are taking me
Is where I need to be
And You have Your reasons
Who am I to say no

Chorus

I waver, You're steady
I falter, You never fail
You fight for me, I surrender
To You, to You

Chorus

My First Award

2008-09-06T11:22:00.009-04:00

I received my first award! How cool is that? It comes from Nancy Douglas of Olive Leaf Ministries. Nancy is an author, speaker and an advocate for special needs children. Her blog is a blessing to many including me! Thanks, Nancy.

This award comes with a few rules. They are:

1. Mention the blog that gave it to you.
2. Publish these rules.
3. Share six values that are important to you and six things you do not support.
4. Grant the prize to six people.

What I value:
The Word of God
My family
My friends
Honesty
Laughter
A good midday nap

What I do not support:
Deceit
Athletes getting paid more than our military and law enforcement professionals
Generalizations about people
Disrespect
The Big Bang Theory
phone telemarketing (very annoying and always at dinnertime)

I pass this award on to some Godly women whose blogs have been a blessing to me. They are:

Lynn at Somewhere in the Middle
Calista at Can I Get a Witness
Regina at Grinders Switch: Heaven on Earth
Tater Mama at Tater Tales
Elaine at Peace for the Journey

Thanks, ladies, for letting His light shine through you.

Back to School

2008-09-04T15:04:00.012-04:00

Ah, the first day of school! Did you know it is possible to feel compelled to do a happy dance and be sad at the same time? It's true. By summer's end, the boredom-induced bickering between my two, sweet, precious, most beloved children just plays jump rope with my last nerve 'till I want to see a school bus so bad I'm reduced to looking them up online and show them to my kids saying "see kids, you're going on one of those really soon! Yep, you sure are, oh yeah.

But then the day comes and so does the real bus and my same beloved kids, now chatting happily together and dressed all spiffy in their new back-to-school-clothes, loaded with backpacks and smiles, climb on, happy to see friends they haven't seen since the beginning of June and eager to embrace the day. The doors close, my kids and I exchange sign-language "I love you's", the bus drives out of sight and then it happens. There's no music but someone's humming, there's toe-tapping which progresses into full-out dancing; there are high fives all around and then...a few tears.

Yes, there are a couple of moms new to this first-day-of school ritual and their hearts have just jumped into their throats with the realization that they have just entrusted their beloved child to a complete stranger! Oh, the rest of us remember that feeling well. We tear up too with the recollection and rush to hug, share stories and encourage them praising them for their restraint in not following the bus to school. I, personally, had no such restraint with either of my kids but that's a story for another day.

This day I skip home ready to enjoy the peace and relative quiet that awaits me on the other side of my front door. I say relative because, well, I do still have that 13-week old puppy who has to pee every 20 minutes and my beloved hubby works from his home office. Still, I'm heartened to hear no whining, no tattling, no teasing and no Hanna Montana. Peace (relative). 15...30 minutes, tops, goes by and I'm suddenly struck by quiet. Apollo's sleeping, hubby is busily working...It feels a little empty...There's no laughing, no giggling, no surprise hugs, no little faces at my front door asking for my children to come out and play. Just. Quiet. Sigh...

How long 'till the stranger brings my kids home?

Be blessed.
Melanie

This was actually taken on the 2nd day of school (I forgot my camara the 1st day)

Only 2 days of school and my sweet boy was just tuckered out.

He doesn't even go to school but he's tired too.

Proud Mama

2008-09-02T21:40:00.006-04:00

I can't help it. I feel like one of those parents who whips out photos of their new baby every chance they get. But he's just so darn cute!

We had our neighbors over yesterday and they brought their 2 girl puppies (german shepherd/lab mixes). Our pups are all about the same age. I think Apollo's only a week older but he's already so much bigger and lumbers around like a bull in a china shop. The girls were pretty timid around him for a while but once they got comfortable they had a blast tearin' around our backyard together and we laughed our heads off watchin' them. Our sandbox was a big hit. I only wish I had video. Oh yeah, and he seems to like watching SpongeBob too.

Don't forget your vitamins...

2008-09-01T15:41:00.008-04:00

Could it really be this simple? Folks, I think I may have found an answer I've been looking for for quite some time.

For years, I've lived with near-constant fatigue as well as a myriad of other little annoying general symptoms. Every year at my annual physical, I tell the doctor how tired I am all the time. I rarely have the energy to do much of anything but I plug along because that's what one does. Faith, family, work, laundry, dishes, pets, all of these responsibilities can't just stop because I'm tired. I always shoot for 10 hours of sleep but even when I'm actually able to get that much uninterruped sleep (which is rare by the way), it's still not enough. I have blood work done year after year and, aside from my cholesterol being on the high end of the normal range, all comes back fine.

When my kids were real small, I'd be told "of course you're tired; you have babies at home." Then it was "You're the mother of young children; it's natural to be tired." Occassionally there'd be an ever-so-slight insinuation that I was just lazy. When I would complain of how tired I am, certain members of my family would say "What else is new" or "You're always tired."

It doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to tell that I don't have the healthiest of diets. I eat far too little of the heathly stuff and far too much of the unhealthy stuff. But still; I've just always thought there's something else I'm missing.

Well, I think I may have figured it out. Recently my friend and I got talking about vitamins; I think because I mentioned reluctantly wanting to cut back on caffeine. I say reluctantly because that's one of the primary things that keeps me going everyday but I hate how jittery it makes me feel. She suggested perhaps I needed some B vitamins for energy. I started looking into it and realized that I regularly deal with a number of the symptoms mentioned under B vitamin deficiency. So I went to the store, got me some B complex vitamins and I can honestly say I feel a little better. Even after only one dose, this stupid, ugly, embarrasing little crack in the corner of my mouth (also on the list of symptoms) went away. I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to get rid of that thing for months and it just wouldn't go.

Now, before you get all nervous about my self-diagnosing, rest assured that I plan to talk to my doctor and/or pharmacist about the whole thing, but I'm just feeling so encouraged. And slightly well-rested.

Be blessed.
Melanie

A Clean Slate

2008-08-22T07:28:00.009-04:00

My has it ever been a busy week. You met the newest addition to our family in the previous post. His official name is...........Apollo (after Rocky's Apollo Creed - another boxer)! At least I think that's the official name. Yeah, we're pretty sure. Once we had him home, Hershey didn't seem to fit and Hubby didn't like Cooper (though the rest of us still kinda do).

George brought him home Monday morning. I had no idea he was going out so early to get him. I was still sort of asleep but mostly I was in denial of being awake when I got this feeling that someone was looking at me. I opened my eyes to the cutest little puppy face.

That first day all Apollo really did was sleep. He just seemed so overwhelmed and afraid of everything. We brought him outside to introduce him to some of the neighbors and he was incredibly shy even with the other puppies in the neighborhood. He's since come out of his shell a bit and his favorite place to be in under the dining room table. He seems to feel safe there.

It's been a long time since we had a puppy in the house so maybe I just don't remember this with the other puppies I've had in my life but I'm most struck by the fact that he knows next to nothing. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. He's just so new to everything - a completely clean slate. We've got to teach him everything. Like that stuff I put in that bowl on the floor is for him to eat. I had to coax him to eat by dropping little bits of food leading to his bowl until he he figured out it was ok. He's starting to learn how to go up the stairs but seemed to get a little dizzy climbing the stairs to the deck (he kept looking down). Good thing I was behind him. Going down the stairs is a whole other story; he's not even considering that yet. Walking with a collar and leash is just wrong as far as he's concerned and he doesn't like it at all though he's getting a little better. The first few times he just wouldn't move. He sat or laid down and that was it. By Wednesday, we managed to get around the block with him - it took an hour but we did it.

In addition to all this, he is full of puppy kisses, "talks" to his toys (he already has a favorite, a little stuffed monkey) and has twice slept the whole night. He's got the cutest little face and we just love, love, love him. Here are some pics to see why.

How you doin'

Apollo LOVES the sandbox

Peek-a-boo

Nose to Nose

Sizing each other up...

Sleepy boy

That can't be comfortable

Boys best friend

Night-night

Here's lookin' at you

We Found Him!!!

2008-08-13T22:29:00.003-04:00

We won't be able to pick him up for a few days, but it is our great pleasure to introduce...ummm...Hershey?...Cooper?...Well, we'll figure that out. In the meantime, here's our sweet brindle boxer boy.

He seemed to pick us as he followed us around showering us with puppy kisses. We love him already and can't wait to bring him home.

Be blessed.
Melanie

It was bound to happen

2008-08-10T17:05:00.008-04:00

I knew it was coming but, frankly, it's still weird. I think posters on the wall makes it official, though, doesn't it? My daughter's a pre-teen. I almost didn't let her put the posters up but then I remembered all the posters I had hanging on my wall of John Travolta (in his "Welcome Back Kotter" days) Shaun Cassidy, the entire cast of Happy Days, Greg Evigan, etc and, of course, in later years an entire wall devoted to KISS. I just couldn't say no. It's sort of a right of passage, I guess.

At least I can still see the wall.

Be blessed...

Saturday Fun

2008-08-02T14:23:00.009-04:00

Not a bad way to spend a day. The kids earned some money (including my little toothless wonder) and enjoyed some fun in the pool.

The kids worked a little, swam a little, worked a little more...He's been literally spitting teeth out all summer.

Hope you're enjoying some summer fun too.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Longing for Intimacy - A lesson from NOG

2008-07-31T09:39:00.019-04:00

This has been a good week in my No Other Gods study. It's interesting that as I've worked through this study, I haven't felt like it's been particularly dynamic or eye-opening. In fact, at times, it's been rather frustrating. However, as I near the end, I realize that God really has been revealing quite a bit through it. In Day 2 (I think) of Week 6, Kelly Minter asked us to read through a list of topics that we felt we could relate to, then read the Psalm listed next to it and note anything we sense God is trying to tell us through it. The topic that stood out to me was "Longing for intimacy with God" and the related Psalm was 42. Actually what stood out about it were the words "longing for intimacy".

I was taught growing up that family was absolutely everything and good friends were a close second (and to never leave the house without makeup on 'cause "you never know who you're gonna meet"). Seriously, family and friends were to be nurtured and cherished. What I've learned this week is that while that statement is true, it's not necessarily the whole truth . (Yes, there's that true vs. truth thing again.)

One thing I've learned moving around as much as we have is that it's difficult starting over and having to make new friends. In my experience, it has taken a minimum of about a year to form a new close friend but that has differed depending on the state in which we've lived. I've also had a personal lesson during the last couple of years that financial difficulty is a strain not only on one's bank account but also on marriage as my husband took on an extra job and I went back to work part-time. All of these circumstances have brought ever-decreasing opportunities for nurturing personal relationships and intimacy, whether in marriage, friendships or with family.

Psalm 42 starts out "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" After I stopped singing "As the deer", I read it over a couple of more times. What struck me at first was how much the writer of this Psalm desired time with God and I wished I was like that and I wondered how one gets to that point of true longing for God. Then I started to think, what if it's not just about how the writer felt? What if what he said is fact? What if it's a fact that my soul thirsts and pants for God and I never realized it and all these years I've been filling it instead with earthly relationships? That idea had never occured to me before. I sat there relatively stunned.

The thing is, for most of my life, the earthly relationships I've so cherished seemed to satisfy and fill up any emptiness I may have had just fine. But was it the healthiest thing spiritually speaking? I'm not so sure anymore. It's like if my body is thirsting for water and I drink a soda instead - did it quench my thirst? Yes. But was it what my body really needed? No and I'll probably be thirsty again soon. It wasn't the best choice; it was a substitute that left my body lacking what it really needed.

For reasons I don't fully understand, God allowed me those substitutes, perhaps even designated them for me. I didn't come to know Him until I was 15 and up to that time, life was rocky. Those relationships - my family and friends - provided for me what I desperately needed - genuine love, guidance and a certain amount of stability in terribly unstable times. They also taught me a lot about Him and His character. Not that I was aware of it then.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven". Looking back now I think I'm seeing that it was shortly after I got married that I began a long season of weaning - about 13 years long. God began to wean me from relying unhealthily on the substitutes I'd cherished for so long so He could draw me to Himself and begin to fill my thirsting soul with what it truly needs - Him.

Family and friends are wonderful. God gives them to us to bless us. They are meant to be cherished and nurtured. What they are not meant to do is take God's place in our heart. There is only One who can satisfy the longing of our souls and that is God Himself. It's a bit of relief to me that having a soul that thirsts and pants for God is not just something to hope for or desire but something that, I believe, is a fact. Our souls long for God. How will we fill that longing?

May you forever be blessed.
Melanie

Afterglowing

2008-07-28T00:51:00.005-04:00

Are you familiar with the term 'afterglowing'? It was a term I heard a lot in the 80's and early 90's, in church settings usually. After a church service or perhaps a Christian concert or even after a particularly good time of fellowship, folks would linger around "after-glowing". If you're unfamiliar with the term, I looked it up and here's a few definitions I thought explained it fairly well or at least might give a good idea of what I mean.

1) (I particularly like this one) The light emitted after removal of a source of energy. ex. the glow of an incandescent metal as it cools.
2) The comfortable feeling following a pleasant experience.
3) A lingering impression of past glory or success.

The reason I mention this is because it's pushing 2am and I can't sleep because I'm still "afterglowing" after this mornings...um, I mean yesterday morning's worship time at church. I keep replaying it in my mind.

I had to lead worship yesterday and if you've followed to any degree my quest to overcome anxiety while leading worship, you understand what I went through trying to get ready for church. I recently told a friend that it's gotten to the point that having to lead ranks right up there with root canal on my fear meter. Pretty bad, right? Lord forgive me.

Well, it started out same as always. Upset stomach from the time the alarm went off, numerous trips to the bathroom (more info than you probably needed, I'm sure. Sorry), minor heart palpitations, etc. But then I got to church. Mind you, since I got up I'd been trying to meditate on various scriptures the Lord has shown me in recent weeks on this topic.

Because of summer internships and vacations, etc. our worship team has been pretty minimal so I knew we wouldn't have a full team. But much to my surprise when I got there I saw we had an extra vocalist that I wasn't expecting and THEN two more unexpected surprises walked through the door - yet another vocalist and one of our drummers. With the exception of our acoustic guitar player, we had a full team! God knows that kind of support goes a long way for me. Then I felt totally blessed in having an extra 30 minutes of practice time and a team that was gracious and willing to hang in there with me for that extra time.

We finished practicing with about 20 minutes or so before the start of service. Any amount of waiting is killer to me. My stomach started acting up again so I whipped out my Bible and started reading my verses and spent some time in prayer.

Then the coolest thing happened. As soon as we started to do our thing I felt the Lord's presence. I had even sensed it during the practice time. The fear was gone, I felt this confidence and a genuine pleasure throughout worship. Please understand I love to sing, I love to worship and I love singing with our worship team. I will sing and worship my God whether I'm on a platform or in a pew or anywhere else for that matter but I'm telling you, I have never experienced to this degree the pure joy in the Lord while leading the worship set like I did this morning. I even messed up a little bit but it was truly not a big deal. It was such a joy and for me, that's a really big deal.

So it's 5 minutes before 2am and I'm still afterglowing and had no one to share it with - except you, of course, out there in the blogosphere.

Well, thanks for staying and reading this. I pray you are blessed with a special sense of His presence today. There's just nothing like it.

Melanie

A NOG Posting

2008-07-25T12:12:00.003-04:00

Been working through my No Other Gods study and the following prayer by A.W. Tozer ended this week's homework. It spoke volumes to and for me.

"Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' name. Amen."

Wow. Be blessed.
Melanie

I Sit

2008-07-19T22:38:00.008-04:00

I sit wondering and worrying...

Is my sweet one feeling better?
Is another one feeling bitter?
Have I let this one down?
Have I filled that one up?
Have I met expectations?
Do I press on or give up?

Do I confront or let go?
Express or move slow?
I want to scream and/or shout
My frustrations, let out.

I sit tired and weary - my sleep's been deprived.
I fear no conclusions will quickly arrive.

The thoughts in my head all vie to be heard
Some lies from the enemy, some completely absurd.
It's the still small Voice, I'm trying to hear.
If I come unto Him, then to me He'll draw near.

So here I sit waiting, His Word at my side.
My thoughts must grow quiet and my heart open wide.
I dare not trust in my feelings for they've led me astray.
Trust His Word over feelings that's the only sure way.

Now I still have no answers to what I said up above.
Yet my angst grows still and I've a sense of His love.
And for now that's enough; I'm surprisingly satisfied.
For to be accepted unconditionally, it's for that my heart's cried.

So I sit filled with gratitude and tears in my eyes.
Perhaps now's a good time to give sleep one more try.
I'll go turn out the lights, make sure everyone's fine.
And aim to rest sound in my Jesus for all time.

Everyday Nuggets

2008-07-16T22:42:00.009-04:00

I've been wanting to sit down for over a week to post but just haven't had the time to collect my thoughts. It seems so much has been going on and yet not much of anything - at least not anything I deemed news worthy. So often I read stories and blogs from ladies (like some of you who have posted messages here) who share wonderful and wise nuggets from the seemingly everyday things in life and I so admire that ability because it's a rare thing when I'm able to recognize it in my own life.

For instance, in the study I'm doing, No Other Gods, the author, Kelly Minter, talks of how, while on a run, she noticed a lizard in the street who had apparently gotten it's head stuck in a Dr. Pepper soda can and sadly died that way in the hot Tennessee sun. Here's what she pulled from that: "The lizard and the Dr. Pepper can spoke to me of something universal that none of us can escape: a desire for refuge, a need for relief, water for our hearts and souls. The tricky part is where we find this sanctuary and how we choose to satisfy our needs. His (the lizards')was a deathtrap. A deceptive offer. A lie. From everything I understand Scripture to reveal, I believe only one source of satisfaction and refuge exists." And of course she's talking of the Lord.

Now I did have an interesting little nugget earlier today and a great example of a principle I learned last week in my study. My son pulled out some of the shells he had collected in Myrtle Beach a few weeks ago and one of the things he mixed into his collection was a bone of some sort. None of us know what it's from but he found it in the ocean and considers it a treasure. Well, the kids were outside and all of sudden he started having a fit, screaming that his sister took the bone and threw it in the grass and now he can't find it. So, of course, I fussed at her for throwing it and made her get out of the pool to go help him find it only to learn a short time later that he had thrown it in the pool and that's why she threw it - to get it out of where she knew it didn't belong. And sweet girl that she is, she was gracious enough to forgive me for fussing at her without having had the whole story. Sigh...

True vs. Truth. There is definitely a difference. What my son said was true but it wasn't the whole truth of the situation. In my life, it may be true that I'm occassionally lonely but the truth is that I'm never alone. God has said He will never leave me nor forsake me. I'm certainly not the first to become ensnared by a lack of discernment and I'll likely not be the last and I'll probably be ensnared by it again though I hope not as easily or quickly should there happen to be a next time. Did you know the serpent never actually lied to Eve in the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3? I never realized that before last week. He was certainly deceptive, no question. I loved what Kelly Minter wrote. She said "If Eve had just stuck with Genesis 2:16-17 she would have never needed to go through chapter 3. I pray the same for us. In order to stick with the truth, we have to know it."

Now that's a nugget I think I'll chew on for a while.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Reflecting Deeper Still Part 3

2008-07-06T19:47:00.035-04:00

After Kay finished preaching we broke for lunch. At 1:00, Beth, Kay and Priscilla returned for a question/answer session that included everything from "the critical hair moment" to marital advice and child-rearing. Priscilla's a total cut-up. She's so funny. They all are, really.

Then it was Beth's turn to preach. But before she got started, she felt very impressed to have an altar call in light of Kay's message. This wasn't just any altar call, however; she was really speaking to those who have been struggling with something for so long and who wanted to finally have a definitive moment in their lives to remember that this was the day they once and for all laid it at the foot of the Cross for good and received forgiveness and redemption. The altar filled up with women, many of whom were just weeping. You couldn't help but be moved and affected by it.

During this time, some glass partitions that had been placed in various areas around the arena were brought up on the stage while Travis and the worship team sang. Throughout Friday night and Saturday morning, people had filled these partitions up with prayer requests, praise reports and just things that were on their hearts using a white paint pen. During the altar call, a gentleman came up with paint cans and started to paint over the heartfelt words that had been written. The camaras were zoomed in close enough to read the words as he did this. Again, I was so moved to read prayers from people praying for a touch from the Lord, the salvation of loved ones, travel safety, healing, for loved ones in Iraq, praise for God's hand in various situations. These were people's hearts poured out all over these partitions. This picture was the end result and some of the scriptures being displayed on the tv screens included Isaiah 60:3 and Colossians 1:17. Click on the picture to enlarge it to see it better.

Then Beth got up to preach. Her primary verse was John 1:14 - The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. Her goal was to help 19,000 of us remember it. She did this by teaching us, section by section, various hand motions to go along with the words of the verse and, of course, expounding on each section of the verse.

Ok, confession time: I was so tired by this point in the conference after such a full day (and after staying up late the night before talking with my sister) that I know I left a lot out. Hopefully, my sister will help me fill in the blanks. heh, heh :D Check back again, ok? Here's what I've got in my notes...

1) The Word - Logos - Divine reasoning/expression. She said that we need to pray about our desires and ask God to heal and change our "want to's. Determination alone won't cut it. I've heard Beth speak about this before and from experience I can say that God has always honored that prayer. When I've been honest with Him that in myself I don't want to change so and so but if He wants me to, then I want to want to, He has changed my heart over the matter. Praise His Name.

2) Became Flesh 1 John 4:1-3

3) Made His dwelling among us - skenoo - Means to tabernacle 2 Cor 5:1; Rev 21:22. Christ was the "tent" on earth. In eternity, He will be the temple.

4) We have seen His glory (John 1:18; 1 John 1:1) Shekinah. The name dwelt between the cherubim - the divine manefested.

5) The glory of the One and Only.

6) Who came from the Father (vs 18; John 13:22-23)

7) Full of grace and truth (vs 16; John 2 - wedding at Cana) Fill the jars. Our jars are one of three things: Either empty, filled with water or filled with wine. In the spiritual sense, the "new Wine". "I don't want to be fine, I want to be full."

At the end, the praise team came back and absolutely jammed. I got the video below from Lifeway's All Access blog (there's a link for this on the right) You may be familiar with Kay Arthur but I bet you've never quite seen her like this before! To see even better pictures and additional recaps, I suggest going over to the All Access blog. The Lifeway photographer did a beautiful job. Hope my recaps have blessed you even a little bit. No matter whether you were there or not, God's Word never returns void.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Deeper Still from on Vimeo

Reflecting Deeper Still Part 2

2008-07-06T16:03:00.018-04:00

It's been a week since I got home from the Deeper Still conference in Atlanta and the truths presented there are still sinking in. I keep praying that God would not allow everything that so impacted me in that place to fade as time goes by.

As I left off in my last post, Travis Cottrell, left us Friday night with an invitation to arrive back at the arena a bit early Saturday for a special pre-worship treat. He said we wouldn't want to miss it. I'm so glad I didn't.

The worship team began Saturday morning with some great music and led us in Joyful, Joyful, which has been one of my favorites for many years. Midway through the song, out came Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer wearing dark sunglasses and treated us to a rap. Yes, you read right - a rap. It was hilarious and they were pretty good! I can only hope Lifeway releases an an audio or even better a video of the entire conference. It was a riot.

After worship ended Beth, Priscilla and Kay came up to the stage and welcomed everyone after which Beth and Priscilla prayed over Kay and the message she was going to bring. As Kay came forward she made it clear that she had a difficult word for all of us. She stated that she had literally been sick over having to bring it. You could see it in her entire countenance. She choked up off and on and even mid-way needed to stop and asked us all to pray before continuing.

She asked us this question: Do you know, love and sow Truth? She read from Jeremiah 36; 6:27-28 and 9:1-9 then stated that God does not want to bring clamity or judgement to His people but said His character demands Him to bring such things when we don't obey. Ezekiel 14:13-19

She spoke of and with great concern for our nation and said she believes the United States is getting set up for a famine and quoted Ezekiel 14:12-23 as a comparison. She asked us from where are we getting our truth and how are we forming our views, quoting Isaiah 59:14-15. Are we forming our views based on the media that often lies and/or twists the truth or in the Word of God?

Kay said God wants us to be a Jeremiah (Jer 1:1-19; Eph 1) and speak the Word of God but in order to do that we must know the Word of God. She gave a great word picture of our needing to be so filled up with the Word of God that if someone were to bump into us it would spill out. She read from 2 Kings 22 where the Word of God had gotten lost in the house of God and said the same thing has happened in America. Essentially, we are staying within the church walls instead of bringing Christ to the world. The fact is, "we are not saved for ourselves alone but for the world and the kingdom at large." Jesus said to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Him.

Kay said it grieves her because so many churches tend to spend more time in the New Testament but we meet God in the Old Testament. Churches seem to be more concerned about comfort than holiness and wind up in captivity as a result due to their lack of understanding (Isa 5:13; Hosea 4:1-6).

Kay then compared the culture in which we live to what was happening with the Israelites in Ezekiel 22:1-4 and Jeremiah 6:10-14 People are turning from the Truth in order to stay in their comfort and trust in deceptive words that do absolutely nothing for them.

She then said in light of all of this, there are 7 things we can do.

1) Jer 4:3 - Break up the fallow ground - the hardness of our soul - return to God. Get on your face before God and ask Him to break my heart with what breaks His

2) It is a time to Mourn and Weep: When was the last time you wept over the pain of this nation? Jer 9:17-18; Ezek 9. Destruction came to those who didn't mourn the sins of Israel yet He spared those who did.

3) Pray!!! Jer 36:7; 1 Tim 2 Pray for all those in authority.

4) Love God's Word (Jer 20:7-9) Make time for in-depth study. Know the whole consult of God.

5) Love Others as Jesus Loves Them - Jer 31:3; John 13:34-35. This love is active and unconditional.

6) Introduce People to Jesus Christ. Ask God what to say and do. (Jer 31:31; jer 33:1-9, 15, 17)

7) Rest (2 Tim 4:1-4) If you do all these things, you rest in that. Rest in Faith. He's the One who does the work.

It was indeed a heavy message and left all of us with much to contemplate. I believe it was during her closing prayer that she asked us all to pick up our Bibles and kiss them and hold them close praying that we would truly love God's Word more than anything in life. My recap probably doesn't do her message the justice it deserves. I had the feeling that when Kay left the platform, she probably went to her room and just wept.

Be blessed. I will post on the rest of the conference in a day or so.

Melanie

Reflecting Deeper Still Part 1

2008-07-04T11:00:00.026-04:00

Ok, finally. A chance to sit down and collect my thoughts on the Deeper Still Conference with Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Kay Arthur. I had hoped I'd be able to get everything down in one post but there's just too much to cover. So let me apologize in advance for the very long post but the conference was so fabulous. I have honestly never experienced anything quite like it in my life. (Oh, and in case you didn't know this, if you click on any picture, it will enlarge).

Anyway, I could not wait for the day to come so when it finally did, I was more than a little excited. My family and I headed out from our vacation in SC about 8:30am that morning and arrived in Atlanta at about 2:30. My sister arrived from TN just minutes before we did. Mind you, I haven't see her in about 2 years and, as she said, we probably haven't had an uninterruped conversation with each other in far longer than that (that's often how it is once you have kids). For us, this wasn't just about the conference it was also about reconnecting as sisters.

On Friday night, the doors to the conference at the Philips Arena were to open at 5pm and we knew there would be literally thousands of women attending, many of whom would likely have begun to get in line hours before that. Little did we know there would turn out to be 19,000 women. By the time we got checked in to the hotel, freshened up and drove over, it was 4:45 when we arrived at the arena. I think about 17,000 women were already there. Didn't matter, though. Nothing could dampen my excitement. I was stoked.

Then we actually got in the doors to find seats and realized we had a challenge on our hands. It looked like at least 18,000 women had already found their seats and even though you weren't supposed to save seats, seats were saved all over the place. Everywhere we turned to ask "Is this seat taken?" came the reply, "Yes". Over and over. We weren't in the nose-bleed seats yet but maybe a section or two below. Karen and I just kind of wandered aimlessly thinking it shouldn't be this hard to find two seats together in an arena this size.

All of a sudden she got this air of authority come over her and she starts making her way through rows, over people, down aisles and down stairs toward the main floor. I thought she was crazy. If we couldn't find seats up here, she was dreamin' if she thought we'd find 'em on anywhere near the stage. Until she led us to the remaining two seats on the end of the first row directly behind the production team! I thought surely they were saved - but they weren't! And not only that, but we were sitting next to the aisle that Beth, Kay, Priscilla and the whole worship team would come out through. I could have shook their hands if I'd had the nerve (I didn't but the lady directly behind me did and she got a hug from Beth - too funny). I did, however, hug my sister and thank Jesus. God knew how thrilled and blessed I felt just to be at this conference and it was like He thought "You know what? Melanie's so excited about this whole thing - why don't We just give her a little tickle to top it off." And let me tell ya, I was tickled over these seats. By the way, the red sticker on the chair in the picture says "Red's Throne". I don't know what exactly Red does but I'm guessing it's pretty important.

Travis Cottrell and his praise team (which happened to include his lovely wife) came out followed by our three ladies. I'm telling you, the worship was phenomenal. The power in their voices especially when they'd hit those high notes and sustain them just made you feel like you were experiencing the tiniest piece of heaven. Oh my word. The entire arena would just explode in praise, cheers and applause. I was back and forth between tears and laughter. Then Mandisa came out and she too was just awesome. I don't really watch American Idol so I wasn't terribly familiar with her but after Friday night I'll never forget her and her annointed singing. I was so blessed.

Priscilla preached that night and she looked beautiful and if you haven't heard by now, she is six months pregnant. She was so hilarious. I took her Discerning the Voice of God study and knew she was a good teacher so I already expected she would have a good message and I wasn't disappointed. She spoke on finding God in the wilderness and read from Exodus 19:9-11. She said that God will oftentimes lead us into wilderness seasons in order to invite us to a personal encounter with Him just as He did with the Israelites. She brought up a map showing the route God led them which happened to be the furthest away from the land of promise. She said that it's often the place that's furthest away externally that turns out to be the greatest internal blessing.

A story she told that really convicted me was when she was outside one day, there was a cloud that looked like it was about to burst forth rain any minute. She had been going through some difficulty and began to pray "Lord, just like this cloud is going to open up any minute, please rain down on me." Well shortly after that it began to pour out so she took off for the house as fast as she could so she wouldn't get soaked through. As she did, the Lord said to her that's so much like My people. We ask Him to rain down but as soon as it becomes a little uncomfortable, we want to take off back to where we came from. Ouch.

Three years ago, I had begun to pray to break out of my mode of mediocrity with Him. I wanted to...well, I guess you could say, go deeper still. I didn't use those words but that's essentially what I was saying. Then God started opening doors for me to sing. When that started getting uncomfortable - and trust me, it's been uncomfortable - I began to say no. If you're unfamiliar with my anxiety issues, just peruse some of my past posts to understand what I mean.

She then said that if we choose not to fight God in our wilderness season, there are three things we can do to prepare to see Him in the midst of it (Ex 19:3-4):

1. We have a call to remember what He's done. We will be thankful and our faith lifted.

2. We are to remember our spiritual identity. God is the only one with the right to label us. (1 Pet 2:9) I really appreciate that especially in light of what I'm learning in my NOG study regarding my apparent need for people's approval and my fear of not having it.

3. We are called to new levels of surrender. If there's something you're holding back from Him, surrender it. It will bring you far greater blessing.

Well that's it for now. The conference ended Friday night with Travis inviting everyone to come a bit early in the morning for a special pre-worship treat. He said we wouldn't want to miss it. And he was so right...

Be blessed.
Melanie

It's Official

2008-07-02T09:30:00.024-04:00

Well, it's official. I like this study. When I first read on Beth Moore's blog that she was going to "facilitate" this study from her blog posts, I was intrigued. I read the description and thought, this could be good. But who could I do it with? It turned out that my best friend, Renee, who lives in FL was very interested and we could do it over the phone - we talk about everything else on the phone so why not do a Bible study that way?

One of the aspects of this study that I really liked was the idea that a good portion of it would include fellowship - dinner, dessert, music - in someone's home. It's meant to be a relaxed setting where everyone can kick their feet up while delving into God's Word. There are recipes included in the book but Beth has been posting recipes as well. I really wanted to be a part of that aspect too so I invited additional women to join in the study and out of those, three are coming over, with their kids, every other Tuesday evening. We eat, we talk, the kids play and all are blessed. It's been really fun.

As for the study itself, I was feeling a bit frustrated as the two weeks progressed. I wanted so much to be able to identify any idols that are in my life and while two things came to mind immediately, I didn't feel I was quite getting it. I've been struggling for years now with my weight and can't seem to get a handle on the overeating and not sure I really want to if I'm being honest. Or rather I don't exactly relish the idea of how much hard work it is to get it off (it was so easy putting it on). At the same time, however, I really do want to feel and look better physically and I worry more and more about what I'm doing to my health. So, I thought this was probably one idol.

Then there's the anxiety. I've written about that before. During the last year, the Lord has led me to sing more and occassionally lead worship at my church. Unfortunately, the anxiety over doing that has gotten so bad during the last couple of months that I've begun to say no, particularly to leading or singing specials. But that makes me so mad. I hate letting fear dictate my actions, especially when it's clear to me that it's of the Lord's leading. That has led to my having to battle feelings of failure and fearing I'm a disappointment. And I know that's not of God. Surely that was another one. But still...there was that nagging feeling there was something else I hadn't quite gotten to.

Then yesterday morning, I got to day 5 of week 2 that dealt with fear. Beth's studies have taught me to pray before I even crack open a book. My prayer was, among other things, "Lord, let me have eyes to see, ears to hear, a mind to understand and a heart to receive what you have to say to me this morning."

As I went through that day's homework things just started to click into place. I realized that my idol has been other people's approval. It's been that way since I was a young kid. The fear is that if I don't have it, I will end up lonely and alone. Even as I'm typing these words the thought quickly occurs to me that that includes God too but God answered just as quickly saying "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Isn't God good? This is like real-time posting happening here. That's funny.

Anyway Kelly had us look up various scriptures on fear and the two that stand out to me include Isaiah 8:11-13 and Isaiah 51:12 (but I took it all the way to vs 16). Essentially what all these verses say to me is that I am not to give such weight (so to speak) to what other people think of me or to live in "terror every day because of the wrath of the oppressor" who wants to destroy me. People are but grass that withers and God alone is holy. He's the one I'm to fear. He's the one who puts words in my mouth and leads me to do what He wills and will cover me and protect me with the shadow of His hand. I am His.

Yes, I like this study. Oh yeah, the first two things I mentioned - well, I believe they tie right into this. The weight issue, I believe, was born out of all the moving around we've done - it feeds the lonliness, the frustrations, the insecurities, etc. And the anxiety is just what I mentioned above - placing other people's opinion in a place of greater importance than God.

So there you have it. I think I'm going to try to post regularly on Wednesdays with updates of how the No Other Gods study is going. At least every other Wednesday. It'll be my NOG Wednesday posts. That sounds like a plan.

I hope you're having a fruitful week. Keep on keepin' on and may you...

Be blessed.
Melanie

I'm Baaaaack

2008-06-30T15:04:00.025-04:00

Well, we are back from vacation and what a blast we had. It was full, fun, relaxing and renewing on many levels.

Our destination was Myrtle Beach to start with for some fun in the sun and then we were on to Atlanta so I could attend the Deeper Still Conference with my sister to hear Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Kay Arthur.

I'll post later this week about the conference. Honestly, I'm still processing all that was said. Just let me say though, it was powerful. From the seats we were able to nab (K, you rock!) - end of the front row behind the production team on Friday night and 7th row from the stage on Saturday - to the closing song and absolutely everything in between, I've never experienced anything quite like it. Absolutely impacting and fun and fabulous.

For this post, however I'll concentrate on the Myrtle Beach portion of the trip. We left Saturday morning and drove to Virginia Beach to stay and catch up with some good friends of ours. I grew up on Long Island, NY and lived in Va Bch for 7 great years so I'm a beach girl thru and thru and really miss being near the ocean. On Sunday we stopped in North Carolina and stayed with friends there who then joined us for the rest of the journey to Myrtle Beach.

My friend, Michelle and I were in youth group together oh-so-many years ago but lost touch for a while until I met my husband (her husband and mine were good friends from college). They lived near us in PA for 4 years before moving to NC so it was a lot of fun spending a few days with them and their kids at the beach.

The weather was gorgeous and the hotel had just about anything you could possibly need. Awesome pools and a waterpark for the kids and a beautiful beach with great shell-collecting opportunities. It was just so relaxing. I got a wicked sunburn on my back (hence the T-shirt in the pic above) even though I was using an SPF of 50!!!!! The sun was brutal. Truly the only place to be was in the water so that's pretty much where we tried to stay.

I had intended to try to get up early each day and go down to the beach to have my quiet time with the Lord. Unfortunately I forgot how much the sun can wipe me out and only managed to wake up early on the day before we left. We had a nice time though, the Lord and I. Few things enhance my worship like sitting on a beach watching the waves ebb and flow. Yes, it was a good time and a great way to set my mind on Him before heading off for the Deeper Still Conference.

Be blessed. Hope you like the pics.
Melanie

Under the Big Bucket Spill

Gettin' the hang of this boogie boardin' thing

Searchin' for shells

Relaxin' on the "Lazy River"

Wiped Out

Lazy Days of Summer? Not Yet

2008-06-10T16:17:00.005-04:00

Well, look at that. It's been a little while since my last post. I wish I had more to report on but there's really been nothing earth-shattering goin' on - just all that busy end-of-school-year stuff.

**We're just about in the home stretch now, Praise the Lord! School is winding down, projects are coming off the school walls and into the kids' backpacks to bring home for good, desks are being cleaned out little by little and there have been plays and lots of trips up to the school to view all the hard work and special projects the kids (and teachers) have been working on over the last couple of months.

**I threw my back out last week while setting down a full laundry basket of clothes. That was fun (not). It took a week, but thankfully, I am much better today.

**The weather has been sweltering hot hovering around 100 degrees (with ridiculously high humidity) since last Friday or Saturday.

**I've switched my work hours for the summer so I now have Mondays and Fridays off (yippee!).

**Oh and our new above-ground pool is up and running. I'm so loving the sound of kids squeeling with glee and laughter out there. The house is all-abuzz with friends and fun. I love that. I so hope to help create some great memories for my kids this summer.

**In a couple of weeks, we'll be bringing home a new family member - we're getting a puppy! Don't know what kind yet and I imagine my poor unsuspecting cat is NOT going to be happy.

**I'm also very excited that next week I begin hosting a Bible study in my home for the summer. I've always wanted to do that. We're going to be doing No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. Beth Moore is plugging it on her blog and "facilitating" it in a way. Can't wait. (if you wanna know more about that just click on Beth's link on the right.)

** And THEN...I'm off to Atlanta for the Deeper Still Conference with Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Kay Arthur. Can I just say I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

My, my. I guess I had more to report on than I thought.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

To quote a friend, In His grace and by His strength...
Be blessed.
Melanie

This Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-23T09:43:00.009-04:00

Many of us will be out and about at BBQ's this weekend enjoying the extra day off (I know we will be), but let's be sure to stop and remember the ones for whom Memorial Day is dedicated.

I have friends who have considered it a privilege to have served our country faithfully and with great honor. Those same friends will be remembering and possibly mourning on Monday friends and comrades who, unlike themselves, didn't make it home. I have another friend whose son is today serving overseas. This friend on Monday will be missing her child likely hoping and praying that by next years Memorial Day BBQ he'll be beside her grabbing a hotdog off the grill. There's a young guy at the local WaWa where I buy my lunch who leaves for bootcamp any day now to experience what - only time will tell.

Let us all take time this weekend to remember and pray for the families and friends of our fallen soldiers. Pray for those currently serving. And if you and I happen to cross paths with someone who is or has served in the military, I pray we remember to thank them. Even if it feels awkward, it might just make their day.

Let's make their day because they certainly helped make ours.

Be Blessed.
Melanie

O My Soul

2008-05-20T12:44:00.012-04:00

Why so downcast, O My Soul?
What do you have to complain about, really?
Your life is so blessed don't you forget.
Even if the day is quite dreary.

This mood has been growing for days now though.
For you haven't taken time to pray
Over the cares and concerns that are within you.
Now your pity-party's well under way.

God showed you some things that He wants to change
Then others showed you some more.
You then added to that the list that you have
And burdened yourself to the floor.

Well, pick yourself up oh doubt-prone soul
And take it to God in prayer!
The only opinion that truly will matter
You'll find when you take yourself there.

God reveals what He does not to make you feel bad
He's revealing the chains that need breaking.
And He'll be faithful, if you let Him, to break those chains
And offer freedom that's yours for the taking.

So rejoice oh my soul and be happy within me;
Your salvation draweth nigh!
Keep your eyes set on Jesus for in Him you will find
That on eagles wings, you will fly!

God is Good

2008-05-15T16:51:00.011-04:00

I have been wanting to sit down for days now and write a new post but I've had a terrible case of blogger's block (love that term). That and I've got piles of laundry to be folded and put away. I so hate to do laundry (hence part of the reason it's been sitting for days). Do you think we'll have to do laundry in Heaven? Will glorified bodies need clean clothes everyday? Perhaps so. Jesus does have an affinity for washing whiter than snow.(sorry. couldn't resist that one). He's better than any bleach alternative for sure. (ok, I'll stop)

Besides I have something cool to share. Well cool to me, anyway. Yesterday I got to enjoy the first of a three-session teaching by Beth Moore called Measureless Love. No homework, just teaching. Well, it was wonderful. What made it more wonderful was God's hand in all of it as evidenced by a number of testimonies I heard. This one's mine.

Throughout yesterday's video, Beth spoke about a number of things that I had just prayed about that very morning as well as during the last couple of weeks. She also talked about things that were in her study called Believing God which I had done about 4 years ago. What was interesting about that was that I had just pulled out my BG workbook the night before and was reviewing some of the very things she spoke of in the video. I cracked up. God is so funny to me sometimes.

But here was the coolest thing. One of the biggest changes to come out of the Believing God study was a desire to grow beyond mediocrity in my life. What I mean by that is my excitement in and about Jesus and how that carries over into every other part of my life. When I first became a new believer in Christ, I was so excited about it. My sins were forgiven and I was a new creature in Christ. My life had a purpose and the question that I was missing something in my life was answered. Unfortunately, over the years, that excitement diminished and I eventually grew fairly stagnant in my walk with Him. I was certainly saved, still loved God and was often involved in church to some degree but was by and large a "pew warmer" for years. I saw and knew people who seemed to have great passion for God but I had come to think that was for the ones with special "callings" on their lives - missionaries, pastors, pastors' wives (yes I so believe that is a calling), church leaders and such. It was like revelation to me to learn during Believing God that God does not call any of us to a life of mediocrity. This theme has popped up off and on during the last few years and was a strong message to me during this year studying the tabernacle in A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place. God certainly does nothing half way.

I looked up the word mediocre on dictionary.com yesterday and here's some of what I found. Mediocre: average, commonplace, cut & dried, garden-variety, indifferent, run-of-the-mill, undistinguised, unexceptional, unremarkable. Now does that sound anything like our God, the God whose very Spirit lives in us if we call Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior? Absolutely not. That being the case, how can I ever be satisfied with anything less than being "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph 3:14-19) As Beth said, "Anything less is unacceptable." I agree whole-heartedly but what do I do with that?

Something else I recently began trying to put into regular practice during my prayer time is praying scripture but until yesterday it didn't even occur to me to do that over my desire to live beyond mediocrity. Even if it had occured to me, I doubt I would have known what scripture to use. Well, hey, this might be a good one.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

Yes, God is so good.

Be blessed.
Melanie

For My Mom

2008-05-05T09:45:00.010-04:00

I wrote this a number of years ago for my mom and decided to honor her here as well. Plus, it helps keep my standing as her favorite! I know, mom, you "love us all the same." yeah, yeah, yeah. blah, blah, blah. Love you.

A Heritage of Love

As I look back so fondly at this life I've been given
With its ups and its downs and it's day-to-day living;
I remember with smiles and such joy in my heart.
For you, my dear mother, have played a huge part
in molding and caring and shaping, it's true.
So much of what's me comes from the love that's in you.

Thanks for artwork on lunch bags drawn lovingly each day.
And energy kept for times spent in play.
For catch in the yard with my sisters and me.
And singing on the couch to Donny and Marie.
For tuna with mustard and PB&J
Again I'll take time to say thank you this day.

For Christmas-time murals painted on windows each year,
Onlookers would come and they'd stare and they'd peer.
For Halloween stories told 'neath the table
To surpass our great fun, none would be able

Thanks for Saturday shopping and our ice cream stop
You showed me the meaning of shop 'till you drop.
For the kittens and puppies we convinced you to buy,
Your patience it seemed was in endless supply.
When giving your "pedicures" or "washing hair" on the floor
I thought I had fun; I think you had more.

I always enjoyed your "celebrity" stories;
And autoraphed pictures of stars in their glory.
I love to read books, both fiction and non.
I got that from you - you've passed that on.
Your imagination to me brings laughter and fun;
From wee little voices to songs that we'd sung.

You taught me the meaning of character and truth.
To just be myself and not be aloof.
And for times when I fell or came into harm,
You'd mend cuts and bruises or tickle my arm.

I heard you pray daily for strength when you're tired
The strength that God gave you I have to admire.
It showed up in ways like loving protection;
From caring for colds to lavish affection.

These moments of sharing were not simply fleeting.
They've grown me and shown me; these moments had meaning.
I believe they were lessons God ordained from above
to teach us His heart a lesson in love.

And the love that you learned so well from your mom
is the love that I learned from you (and then some).
My hope and my prayer is that I'll pass along
the love you have shown me so my kids will grow strong.

So thank you dear mother and God up above
For this thing that I call A Heritage of Love.

"Her children arise and call her blessed." Proverbs 31:28

A Quiz...

2008-05-04T20:28:00.003-04:00

The following was quoted in a newsletter I received recently and I loved it so much, I decided to put here as well. Hope you enjoy.

Take this Quiz.
(by Max Lucado)

~ Name the ten wealthiest men in the world.
~ Name the last ten Heisman trophy winners.
~ Name the last ten winners of the Miss America contest.
~ Name eight people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
~ How about the last ten Academy Award winners for best picture or
the last decade's worth of World Series winners?

How did you do? With the exception of you trivia hounds, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday too well. Surprising how quickly we forget, isn't it? And what I've mentioned above are no second-rate achievements. These are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one.

~ Think of three people you enjoy spending time with.
~ Name ten people who have taught you something worthwhile.
~ Name five friends who have helped you in a difficult time.
~ List a few teachers who have aided your journey through school.
~ Name a testimony of someone whose story has inspired you.

The people who make a difference are not the ones with the credentials, but the ones with the concern, with the personal touch and impact on your life.

Whose life are you touching? You matter more than you think.

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-05-02T00:00:00.001-04:00

Today is my birthday
I'm 41 years old.
No more a spring chicken
Or so I've been told.

Now I could spend my days
Trying to hang on to my youth.
But I don't have the energy
To tell you the truth.

And what's the point really?
Those days are past.
My energy's spent better
On things that will last.

Not that I'll sit idle.
No I'll try my best
To maintain that
With which I've been blessed.

Gray hair I will color
or occassionally pluck.
And Lord knows I could use
A little nip or a tuck.

But imperfections aside
I am happy to see
That I'm at the place in my life
I always hoped I would be.

I'm happily married
With two wonderful kids.
And God holds my life.
I'm eternally His.

So what could be better?
What more can I say?
Except Happy Birthday to me
I'm 41 today!

National Day of Prayer

2008-05-01T08:57:00.019-04:00

Today is the National Day of Prayer - a day set aside for Americans to pray and intercede for America, our people and our leaders in all areas of influence.

May I encourage you today (and everyday for that matter) to remember to take some time to pray for our nation? We have so much to be thankful for. 1 Timothy 2:1-2 says "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior." Also, 2 Chronicles 7:14 says "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Everywhere we turn in this country, there is talk of change. Change that should take place; promises that change will take place; ideas of how it should happen and who should usher it in. But God forbid that we even take one step without first seeking God's will and guidance in all humility before Him.

As blessed as we are, our nation is also in great need of prayer. Some might say as never before. One only needs to turn on the local news to see that's true. But it's not just the obvious stuff we need to pray for. God says in Proverbs 14:12 "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." We need to pray for God's wisdom and leading for everyone from the President right on down to you and me. Pray not only for His wisdom but also for the courage and conviction to follow that leading.

No matter one's opinion on the condition of our nation, one thing is certain, people all over this world continue to look to us for hope, for help and for influence. Let's pray that that influence would start and end with our reliance upon God.

I hope you enjoy your time in His presence. Be sure to check out www.nationaldayofprayer.org for some great information. And for those whose hearts and interests stretch beyond our borders, the Global Day of Prayer is coming up on May 11. Check out www.globaldayofprayer.com

Remember, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Psalm 33:12

Melanie

Standing in the Need of VICTORY

2008-04-30T13:25:00.006-04:00

Well, I didn't sing. The physical effects of my panic attack began at 4am. By 7am, it was full-blown and I was in and out of the bathroom every 10 minutes until it was certain that I was too late for a sound check and so late that they were probably getting started. (If this isn't making any sense, please see my previous post.)

By the time I was able to leave the house, I was in tears and sobbed all the way to church. Too many times this has kept me from doing things I've wanted to do, things I believed God was leading me to do. I confess I allowed myself to sink to the lowest point ever since I began this battle with anxiety. The "out" I mentioned yesterday - the one I took and then was convicted about was also one I created to try to get out of singing. How ridiculous is that? I'm ashamed of myself. It shouldn't have come to that. While I want so badly to be used by God and am unbelievably thankful that He opened doors for me to sing again, it is just singing after all. It's not brain surgery. No one's life depends on whether or not I sing or sing with God's annointing and blessing, though I'd rather be mute than do anything in God's Name without His annointing and blessing.

That being said, I'd really like to hear from you. I fully believe I'm dealing with a generational stronghold here. But, frankly, I'm at the point that I've just had enough of it. I want victory in this area of my life once and for all. If God has brought you victory in your battle with anxiety/panic attacks, I'd very much like to hear about it if you're willing to share it.

And on a positive note, while I didn't get to sing, I did get up to share some of the things God has shown me during this year of study. I didn't plan on it though. My thoughts were in such a jumble, I couldn't think of anything to say. Until the end. Suddenly the fog lifted and my thoughts became clear. God allowed me to give Him praise anyway. Just not the way I planned. His plans are better anyway.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Standing in the Need of Prayer

2008-04-29T18:53:00.004-04:00

Ok, folks; if you read this before tomorrow (Wed), 10:30am-ish, I could really use some prayer. It's that lousy fear causing my heart to want to beat right out of my chest. Even now nearing a low-level panic attack.

Tomorrow morning, is "Sharing Day" at my women's Bible study group. Approximately 80 women or so will gather to share and testify to what God has done during this season of study. It's something to look forward to each year. This year, I have been asked to sing at the end.

Now, I always get nervous before I sing and, unfortunately, I'm not unacustomed to panic attacks either. The anxiety from anticipating this event, however, has been bad enough that I really wanted to get out of it. In fact, I got my out and took it but felt immediately convicted that I wasn't supposed to. So I have attempted to set it right and have sent an email saying I will sing if she still wants and/or needs me to.

So please pray for me. Pray that God would bless what I have to offer - if in fact, they still want me to sing. And, if so, please pray for God's peace to fall all over me. Fighting this fear is still a fairly new journey for me. In the past, I've allowed it to keep me frozen in my place, but no more. I may run to the bathroom a thousand times before I sing (too much info?), but sing I will, when I believe that's what God is asking of me.

Thank you!!!! May you be blessed.

Melanie

Plugged In

2008-04-23T14:30:00.020-04:00

Wow, what a great season of Bible study it's been. Yesterday we viewed the last video and thereby officially completed 'A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place'. I so wish someone had forwarned me to bring tissues. It was a wonderful study and I loved learning the significance of the Tabernacle and what it means for me today and forever. No spoilers here, but I highly recommend it.

I've just got to say, if you have never been part of a small-group Bible study before, can I encourage you to give it a try? Whatever your background, season of life, schedule, I guarantee God has something special to say to you from His Word. I have been a Christian more than half my life, have read my Bible on my own, but it wasn't until about 4 years ago that I participated in my first women's small-group Bible study (Beth Moore's 'Believing God'). That study changed how I go about my life. I've loved God since I was 15 years old, but God, through that study, touched my heart all over again. And that was absolutely the coolest thing in the world to me. He has and continues to speak directly into the circumstances of my life and I love that. I can't get enough. I don't know what took me so long to catch on. Jeremiah 33:3 says Call unto me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

The other thing I've so enjoyed about small-group study has been the women I study with. We come from all denominations; have different backgrounds and history; even our ages vary. But that's what's so neat - to see how God's Word can speak so differently and so specifically to each of us in the season of life we're each in. That's only the power of God. I love Him for that. And I love what these women have come to mean to me.

May God bless you in your journey...
Melanie

A Divine Jealousy

2008-04-18T14:41:00.002-04:00

I'm jealous, Dear Jesus and it can't be right;
To envy this one so dear in Your sight.
Y'see, she's got this great passion, this fervor and love
For You, her sweet Savior sent from Heaven above.
She appreciates so all that You've done.
The sacrifice made by God's only son.

Is it okay to pray that I'd have the same?
That ferver and passion, to be overwhelmed that you came?

I've watched her on video and done studies she's written.
It's so obvious to me that, with You, she's quite smitten.
I can't help it, Dear Jesus. I want that too.
That special relationship between me and You.

Now my walk is not hers and her walk is not mine.
But with You as our Savior, both walks are Divine.

So perhaps this envy is not such a quagmire.
For perhaps You have used it to awaken desire.
Now to You, my Dear Jesus, I surrender my heart.
I give You the whole and not just a part.
Just don't let me stay as I've been before.
And I'll love you - Dear Jesus - forevermore.

I wrote this in response to Day 5 of Week 2 in Beth Moore's updated edition of A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place. After next week, this particular study will over but what I've learned through it will remain for a lifetime. Thank you Jesus for this beloved sister and the way you've used her over the last few years to lovingly prod me along in this wonderful journey with You. Few will ever know this side of heaven how You have changed my life through her.

Be blessed.
Melanie

The 'might' name of Jesus?

2008-04-07T09:42:00.022-04:00

I responded the other day to a prayer request written on a blog belonging to a dear sister in the Lord. I posted my prayer and meant to end it by saying "In the mighty name of Jesus." What I wrote instead was "In the might name of Jesus." I only noticed my error this morning, felt a little embarrased and laughed as I thought 'my, that's telling, isn't it?' I guess that's how I've been feeling though - that I pray and that prayer 'might' get answered or it 'might' not. It's funny how that just sneaked out. "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34(and the fingers type too, I guess). I even checked it over before I posted it. Very telling.

Now before you say anything, please know I've already got all kinds of stuff rattling around in my head (yes, it's rather noisy in here). "Where is my faith?" "If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could tell this mountain Move and it would be moved." (Math17:20) "The Word tells us that 'the promises of God are yes and amen." (2Cor 1:20) "The prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16) "Sometimes, God answers yes, sometimes He says No and sometimes He says Wait but all of those are still answers." I know. And there's surely a bunch more I haven't written. Those are just the loudest ones at the moment.

Maybe I'm not even wrong about the "might". We just don't know how God is going to answer. Maybe the question is more will I trust Him no matter what the answer or, perhaps even harder, in the absence of a discernable answer? Or will I get bent out of shape and allow bitterness to creep in? Well, I certainly don't want that to happen.

I know that God is Omnicient. I also believe the words in Romans 8:28 that says "All things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purposes." And in Jeremiah 29:11 that says "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future." And really, the name of Jesus is 'Might'. There's no name in heaven or earth with more 'might' than Jesus. (You know I'm referring to strength here now, right?)

It's just this lingering issue of my daughter's stomach pain (as explained in previous posts). Mind you, she is significantly better, praise be to God. BUT...it's not completely gone.

Hold on a sec....

Oh my gosh. I just got an email forward and guess what the heading read...

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5.

LOL. Yes, Lord. (Thanks, Uncle Walter)

Be blessed...
Melanie

Happy Resurrection Day!

2008-03-22T23:22:00.006-04:00

Praise the Lord, He is Risen!

I have a few favorite holidays and each one triggers a different emotional response. I think of Christmas and I feel happy, loved, warm and content. I think of Good Friday and I feel deeply humbled (and sad if I'm being honest). And then...there's Easter Sunday. Now, I'm not the most outwardly demonstrative type of person, but, I'm tellin' you, on Easter Sunday, on the inside I am dancin'!

I LOVE Easter! You see, if Jesus' story had stopped at His birth and the life He lived, then the other religions would be right where He is concerned. He'd have just been a prophet, a teacher, a good man and a good example of how to live. If it had stopped at his death, well, that would have made Him just like everybody else who's ever lived and died. But make no mistake, He was not and is not like ANYBODY else. He was and is fully God and fully man and by His own power, He resurrected from the dead. He is alive, alive, alive forevermore and seated at the right hand of the Father and currently interceding for you and for me.

I don't know about you, but I really need this wonderful holiday right now. From the depths of my soul, I need to remember that, because of THIS day, we, whose hope is in the Lord, have victory over EVERY trial, EVERY circumstance, EVERY temptation. Because of THIS day, we have reason to hope, the authority to pray, the power to believe. Because of THIS day we can know, that we know, that we know that we have the victory through Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the one who conquered death, Hell and the grave.

Praise the Lord! May you be exceedingly blessed beyond measure today.

Happy Resurrection Day! Here's some pics from our day. Hope you like.

Mel

The Great Juggling Act

2008-03-15T20:58:00.010-04:00

Oh my, whatta week!

Well, first an update. My daughter's been to the doctor and has had some tests taken which so far have come back normal. Which is good. Though, honestly, there was a part of me that was wishing something had shown up. At least we would then perhaps have a name to this mystery illness. But that's not the case. She had a very difficult week and stayed home from school through most of it. It's just so bizarre. The pains and the nausea seeme to come and go without rhyme or reason and nothing would help.

Not that it was all bad. There have been some pretty cool blessings in the midst of this trial that I pray leave a lasting impact on her. For instance, the amount of prayer going out for her, not to mention the sweetest, kindest emails that came in blessed her heart. She has no doubt whatsoever that she is loved. She and I had some wonderful moments to share about God and where He is through all of this too (which in case you're wondering, He's been very present and very active and she is becoming more and more aware of that). There have been some incredible lessons to be learned through this - for me as well.

Not only were we all trying to take care of her, but my son also celebrated his 8th birthday the other day. Somewhere between doctor appointments, work, phone calls to insurance companies/specialists and 2 near-trips to the emergency room, I had to find time to shop for birthday presents and prepare/present a birthday craft to my son's class. It was no easy task trying to comfort one child while celebrating the other at the same time. Both needing and deserving my complete attention and all of us being sleep deprived. My poor hubby had to work both his "real" job during the day and the pt one at night so he really was unable to do much more than that.

But the week is over at last and there's one more bright spot to share which leaves me cautiously optimistic. It's that my sweet, brave, precious daughter seems quite a bit better. She's had only 2 attacks today and they were minor. One early this morning and one around dinnertime. Neither lasted long and a hot-water bottle was enough to make her feel better.

Perhaps a good night sleep will do her - and all of us - quite a bit of good. Thank you all again for all your prayers, emails, phonecalls and cards. They have meant so much to us and given my sweet girl much to smile about.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Journey in the Dark

2008-03-10T09:16:00.005-04:00

This journey in the dark we've been on for the last 2 months or so with my daughter continues on. The pain and nasea she's been experiencing since mid-January is becoming more severe and more frequent. Is it physical? Is it emotional? Both? Nothing seems to help.

In the beginning, we thought "oh, it was just something you ate - the tacos or a few too many pieces of candy on Valentines Day". Then she was diagnosed with a uti and we thought "well, that explains it." But it continues still.

We thought we saw a pattern. Didn't know what it meant, but it looked like a pattern - a piece to the puzzle. It was happening mostly at night and then a little first thing in the morning. Then it started happening before anxiety-producing times - before a test for example. So we thought ok, food and worries can trigger an attack. IBS, perhaps? We started cutting back on certain foods - no dairy, no spaghetti sauce, NO CHOCOLATE, no beef, nothing fried, no juice. At this point, she's down to chicken broth, saltines and water. And you know what? The attacks are still coming.

She doesn't like to be in the car for too long - motion sickness (never had that before). She's afraid to do too much activity, so she sat out of gym last week. She loves gym - they're learning gymnastics. She's afraid to go to kids club at chuch - something she's always looked forward to - because an attack may happen and did last week. I got a call to pick her up early. She's not sleeping well because they happen almost like clockwork around bedtime and can last at least an hour. Last night it woke her up from her sleep. That was a first. Another notch up on this ever-escalating mystery illness.

To give you an idea of how bad this is for her and what this is doing to her, read some of her comments in her own words usually said with tears coming down her cheeks:

"I wish I was in Heaven so this wouldn't be happening anymore."

Me: "Baby, I wish this was happening to me and not you." My daughter: "Mom, I wouldn't want this to happen to you."

"Mommy, will you ask the doctor to take some blood so they can figure out what's wrong with me and make it stop?"

"I just want this to stop"

She filled out a prayer request at church. It read: "Dear God, please make the pain stop."

We go back to the doctor today and I'm going to request (demand if necessary) some tests.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

Lord, please lift this darkness and clear the path. Heal my baby.

To our friends and family: Thank you for your prayers. She has read many of your emails. Your kind words, prayers and encouragement have touched her - some to the point of tears. I thank God upon every remembrance of you. (Phil. 1:3)

Be blessed.
Melanie

Strive to Thrive

2008-03-03T10:06:00.006-05:00

Isn't this a nice picture? I like it a lot. It's just how I've been feeling the last couple of weeks. Everything was goin' fine, growing, feelin' good, then BAM. Stuff happens. Nothing major; not to me, personally, anyway. Just stuff - bumps-in-the-road, life stuff. I was going to say "nitty-gritty" stuff, but that would imply that what's been going on is not important or not worth the attention it required and that's not true.

There's been illness. My poor daughter has been having so much stomach pain over the last month - primarily at night. I finally took her to the doctor and walked out knowing absolutely nothing more then when we walked in, but with a recommendation to take her to a GI specialist and they don't have any openings 'till April. Joy. Let's pray we can figure this out and take care of it before then. And there was other stuff too - I'll just call them stresses to save time and keep myself from sounding too whiney.

But for two weeks, I've been concentrating on circumstances. Some things beyond my control and some things, like my daughter's stomach problems for example, I don't know how to control and am seeking answers. But I just started to feel so weighted down and isolated. Then I wonder if perhaps the "drama queen" in me is just making mountains out of mole hills.

Either way, I feel a bit like that flower - weighted down and cold. I know it's not just me. I imagine that some of this mood has to do with the end of winter doldrums. Spring is so close though and I'm determined to stand up straight and shake this heaviness off. I even got on my treadmill yesterday - now you know I've got to be desperate for change. Today promises to be a nice day weather-wise. High 50's and sunny. I've got the day off and I plan to get outside and enjoy some of it; gonna have some quiet time with the Lord and my Bible study, clean my house. Yep, by the end of this day I'm hoping to have built up some momentum again.

Gotta keep goin', keep striving, keep believing, keep hoping. As my father used to say "This too shall pass".

"Lord, since the day I saw You first,
My soul was satisfied;
And yet, because I see in part,
I'm searching more to find."
Matt Redman, "Intimacy"

Be blessed.
Melanie

Mixed Feelings

2008-02-29T11:32:00.005-05:00

It's been a sad week. A sad couple of weeks, really (PMS and self-indulgent pity party, notwithstanding).

First, I received news that a much-beloved woman who taught kids at a church I attend women's Bible study at died in a house fire. This week I learned some additional details that, honestly, I could have lived without knowing. I didn't know her well at all. In fact when I heard about it, the name only slightly rang a bell - until I saw her picture. Then I knew who she was. We had passed each other from time to time and said hello and had maybe one brief conversation that I can remember.

I learned that she had taught preschoolers here for 18 years, loved Jesus, kids, had a really big heart and many people adored her. If I heard correctly, about 500 people attended the services for her. That really says something about her, doesn't it? I was tempted to go, but decided against it. But I've been thinking of her and the grown children she left behind. I pray that the Lord completely envelopes them in comfort and peace and keeps them from the "what ifs" and "if onlys". No, let them have peace as their mother is walking streets of gold with the Lord and Savior she loved so much.

Second, a precious friend I attend church with has experienced the death of her mother. I knew her mother a little as they came to church every Sunday together. She was a very sweet, tender woman. Always kind, always had a pleasant word. My friend had just had surgery and was to stay off her feet when her mother took a bad turn. So instead she was at her mother's bedside. I spoke with her yesterday just hours before her mother's passing and she sounded good - encouraged even. She spoke of how good God has been to her, strengthening her and surrounding her and her mother with loving friends. Some people from church had gone to visit her mother and she said they sang songs to her and were going to sing her into Heaven. What a sweet picture that is to me.

As I went to bed last night I couldn't help, but feel sad. Then I had a dream about my father who died over7 yrs ago of cancer. It was a good dream. In it I was at my best friend's parent's house and was looking at an old photo album and in it were pictures of my dad and his brother (also passed away) at a party. They were laughing and having a grand time. There was also a video of this party - which is odd in itself since camcorders didn't even exist at the time this party was to have taken place. But anyway, in the video, my dad and his brother were so young and they were singing (which means they were probably a bit drunk too since that's usually when the singing got started). It felt so good to me in my dream to see those. I asked if I could borrow them to make copies for various family members - I knew they'd be cherished memories.

I woke up feeling a bit happier than I have in couple of weeks. I'm still thinking of the two precious women who so recently entered Heaven's gates and the families left here. And I'm missing my dad a bit. But I am encouraged too. Like I said to a friend the other day, this is just a season and joy does come in the morning. Those aren't just platitudes, they're true words.

You know what else? The flowers in the front of my house are beginning to break through the ground and this morning I heard the distinct sound of chirping birds. Spring is coming - a new season is about to begin.

Be blessed...
Melanie

Just for laughs...

2008-02-25T15:07:00.008-05:00

My daughter received a belated Christmas gift this weekend from my sister. It was a book of poems by Shel Silverstein called A Light in the Attic. One of them in particular made me laugh out loud; hope it gives you a chuckle.

PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break
So none of the other kids can use 'em...
Amen

A Heavenly Shadow

2008-02-21T12:50:00.007-05:00

Last night I saw my very first lunar eclipse. Did you catch it? How cool was that! Conditions were perfect - no bad weather, no clouds and a pretty good vantage point. What made it even a little better were the binoculars my dad gave me when I was a teenager. I can't for the life of me remember what prompted that gift, but they sure came in handy last night. (And I was frankly a little surprised that I knew exactly where they were. Hmm.) Anway, I've never seen the moon so clearly before.

I used to love the class trips to the planetarium when I was a kid and always thought planetary "stuff" in general was interesting though I admittedly don't know a whole lot. I'm pretty sure I can name all the planets and can almost always find the big dipper and occassionally the little dipper. Beyond that, I'm rusty to say the least.

But as the earth cast its' shadow over the moon last night, I couldn't help but think of another "shadow" I've been learning about the last several months. My Bible study group has been doing a study by Beth Moore called The Tabernacle, A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place. It's about the Old Testament tabernacle. You know, the one that the Israelites carried with them everywhere they went? In Exodus, we're studying all the details that God gave to Moses concerning the construction of the tabernacle and everything that was to go in it. So many details. God was rather specific and quite serious about how this was to be done. Learning why has been amazing. I highly recommend it.

But I digress. So what in the world does any of that have to do with a lunar exclipse? Well, it's the shadow. The book of Hebrews 8:5 says that the priests served at a sanctuary "that is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven." As exquisite as the tabernacle was, it was only a shadow of something that exists in heaven. As I watched the earth's shadow overtake the moon last night, I imagined if someone on some other planet or something wanted to know what the earth looked like, someone else might have said "well there, there's its' shadow; it kind of looks like that." And they'd be right, wouldn't they? The earth is big...and round. But how much they would be missing! There's a seemingly unending world of technicolored details that you can't see from looking only at the earth's shadow.

When you look at how the tabernacle and all its' furnishings were made - with all that gold and brass and beautiful stones and the carvings and the details... What a sight it must have been to behold. But if that was only the shadow, how absolutely awstruck will we be to see what it was patterned after?

I can only imagine. For now...

A Hopeful Romantic

2008-02-11T16:41:00.002-05:00

It's the week of Valentines Day and yes, I'm a romantic. Always have been. I remember once, while playing with my Barbies, I accidently caused Ken's arm to break off out of it's socket trying to make him hug Barbie. I'm sure some cynic would love to read something into that! But not me. No, Ken gladly gave his arm for the name of love and Barbie whole-heartedly loved him right back even with the missing appendage.

I'm all grown up now and married to a wonderful man, who, by the way, I think would also define himself as a romantic. The way we express it tends to be a bit different now after 13 years of marriage and 2 children later than it was when we were dating or even as newlyweds. We're both admittedly bad about cards. On a good year one of us remembers to get one and the other reads it and writes "ditto" or "me too" on it and signs it as well. But you know what? Just thinking of that makes me smile.

But see, I don't love Valentines Day or even the idea of "love" just because of the man I'm married to or because of the enjoyment of watching my kids fill out their Valentines Day cards or even because of all my happy memories of that day throughout the years; though all of those things are enough to fill me with warm fuzzy feelings. One of the reasons I enjoy Valentines Day so much is because it's just another reminder of the love my God has for me. That's not something I can get from Hallmark or from the local florist. It was given freely from before time began.

The things that speak love to me more than anything are quality time together and thoughtful words and actions. My God is the very definition of love. From the very beginning my romantic God created an incredible, beautiful place to spend time with His creation - us. And from that time forward, He has unashamedly pursued a relationship with us. The last several years have provided opportunities for me to see that truth. And it's been life changing. I love God because He first loved me. He said it, He proved it and He reveals it day by day. Yes, I'm a romantic, but not a hopeless one. I'm one full of hope because He redeems my past, guides my present and solidifies my future.

If you are anything like me and enjoy a little reminder of how loved you are, click on the link below to see just how special you are to Him. You are loved. Happy Valentines Day!

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

Illness, Exhaustion and Bills. Oh My!

2008-02-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

It's been one of those weeks (and it's only Wednesday). You know the ones, where if it can go wrong, it will? Nothing major, mind you - for which I'm thankful, but those little nitty-gritty things that nip at your heels enough 'till you just want to slump onto the couch in your most comfy pjs and pull a blanket over your head 'till morning.

First, after months of listening to the increased racket our 40+ year old boiler's been making and the occassional repair job, it finally kicked the bucket and our home warranty company that we've been paying into since moving in to this house wouldn't cover it. (Can anyone else hear that cha-ching sound?) Then my precious DD (Darling Daughter) started feeling ill. I suspected I knew the cause - a UTI (there's really no mistaking those symptoms) but upon our visit to the doc, results were negative. But sometimes - no, make that many times - a mother just knows. But home we went. 2 days, much pain, many tears and 2 sleepless nights later (and a missed Bible study - a Beth Moore video day no less), we're back at the doc. This time, however, the infection is raging and confirmed by the test.

We were told it didn't show up the first time because it may have been just too early in the infection. Part of me accepts that explanation because I've gotten to the point for myself where I don't even go to the doctor for some things until I've been sick for at least 2 weeks. On the other hand, gimme a break. I'm no doctor, but I am my DD's mother and like I said, there's just no mistaking those symptoms.

However, being a glass-half full kind of gal and knowing that my Redeemer lives (got the tune in your head yet?), here are the blessings in the midst of our temporary afflictions. While a new boiler is a pricey little item to replace, my BH (beloved husband) did manage to get a very good deal. Probably saved us about $1500. The house is warm and clang-free. AND my little boy,who just loves to watch workers do what they do, got a surprise gift from the boiler man - a way cool, model pickup truck with a cab-thing that attaches to the back and 2 little boilers to go inside. He is a very happy camper.

As for my DD, after only one dose of her antibiotic, she is already feeling some better. But what was really touching was last night, in the midst of her discomfort, hearing her pray to Jesus to not only make her better but to give her strength to get through the pain. She prayed her little heart out through her tears. We had the sweetest talk after which she was blessed with sound sleep for the rest of the night and woke up feeling some better.

So Praise God. He is good and always taking care of us. 1Peter 5:7

A Maiden Voyage

2008-02-04T18:20:00.000-05:00

Well how 'bout this. My very first blog entry. I feel as though I ought to mark this on the calendar or something. Hey Ma, look at me! I'm bloggin!

Over the past I don't know how many months I've been hearing more and more about this whole blogging thing. Then I recently started reading them on the website of one of my favorite Bible Study authors/teachers, Beth Moore. That's what really piqued my interest. The more I checked out other people's blogs, the more I thought I can probably do this. I consider myself about average when it comes to computer stuff (ok, maybe a smidge below average), but anyone stumbling onto this blog will have to please be patient as I learn how to do this and become more comfortable with it.

So there you have it. My first post. Nothing elaborate, no pearls of wisdom. Just my first step. Baby steps. And that's what my life's about - baby steps...of faith.