We Found Him!!!

We won't be able to pick him up for a few days, but it is our great pleasure to introduce...ummm...Hershey?...Cooper?...Well, we'll figure that out. In the meantime, here's our sweet brindle boxer boy.



He seemed to pick us as he followed us around showering us with puppy kisses. We love him already and can't wait to bring him home.

Be blessed.
Melanie

It was bound to happen

I knew it was coming but, frankly, it's still weird. I think posters on the wall makes it official, though, doesn't it? My daughter's a pre-teen. I almost didn't let her put the posters up but then I remembered all the posters I had hanging on my wall of John Travolta (in his "Welcome Back Kotter" days) Shaun Cassidy, the entire cast of Happy Days, Greg Evigan, etc and, of course, in later years an entire wall devoted to KISS. I just couldn't say no. It's sort of a right of passage, I guess.

At least I can still see the wall.

Be blessed...

Saturday Fun

Not a bad way to spend a day. The kids earned some money (including my little toothless wonder) and enjoyed some fun in the pool.

The kids worked a little, swam a little, worked a little more...He's been literally spitting teeth out all summer.






Hope you're enjoying some summer fun too.

Be blessed.
Melanie

Longing for Intimacy - A lesson from NOG

This has been a good week in my No Other Gods study. It's interesting that as I've worked through this study, I haven't felt like it's been particularly dynamic or eye-opening. In fact, at times, it's been rather frustrating. However, as I near the end, I realize that God really has been revealing quite a bit through it. In Day 2 (I think) of Week 6, Kelly Minter asked us to read through a list of topics that we felt we could relate to, then read the Psalm listed next to it and note anything we sense God is trying to tell us through it. The topic that stood out to me was "Longing for intimacy with God" and the related Psalm was 42. Actually what stood out about it were the words "longing for intimacy".

I was taught growing up that family was absolutely everything and good friends were a close second (and to never leave the house without makeup on 'cause "you never know who you're gonna meet"). Seriously, family and friends were to be nurtured and cherished. What I've learned this week is that while that statement is true, it's not necessarily the whole truth . (Yes, there's that true vs. truth thing again.)

One thing I've learned moving around as much as we have is that it's difficult starting over and having to make new friends. In my experience, it has taken a minimum of about a year to form a new close friend but that has differed depending on the state in which we've lived. I've also had a personal lesson during the last couple of years that financial difficulty is a strain not only on one's bank account but also on marriage as my husband took on an extra job and I went back to work part-time. All of these circumstances have brought ever-decreasing opportunities for nurturing personal relationships and intimacy, whether in marriage, friendships or with family.

Psalm 42 starts out "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" After I stopped singing "As the deer", I read it over a couple of more times. What struck me at first was how much the writer of this Psalm desired time with God and I wished I was like that and I wondered how one gets to that point of true longing for God. Then I started to think, what if it's not just about how the writer felt? What if what he said is fact? What if it's a fact that my soul thirsts and pants for God and I never realized it and all these years I've been filling it instead with earthly relationships? That idea had never occured to me before. I sat there relatively stunned.

The thing is, for most of my life, the earthly relationships I've so cherished seemed to satisfy and fill up any emptiness I may have had just fine. But was it the healthiest thing spiritually speaking? I'm not so sure anymore. It's like if my body is thirsting for water and I drink a soda instead - did it quench my thirst? Yes. But was it what my body really needed? No and I'll probably be thirsty again soon. It wasn't the best choice; it was a substitute that left my body lacking what it really needed.

For reasons I don't fully understand, God allowed me those substitutes, perhaps even designated them for me. I didn't come to know Him until I was 15 and up to that time, life was rocky. Those relationships - my family and friends - provided for me what I desperately needed - genuine love, guidance and a certain amount of stability in terribly unstable times. They also taught me a lot about Him and His character. Not that I was aware of it then.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven". Looking back now I think I'm seeing that it was shortly after I got married that I began a long season of weaning - about 13 years long. God began to wean me from relying unhealthily on the substitutes I'd cherished for so long so He could draw me to Himself and begin to fill my thirsting soul with what it truly needs - Him.

Family and friends are wonderful. God gives them to us to bless us. They are meant to be cherished and nurtured. What they are not meant to do is take God's place in our heart. There is only One who can satisfy the longing of our souls and that is God Himself. It's a bit of relief to me that having a soul that thirsts and pants for God is not just something to hope for or desire but something that, I believe, is a fact. Our souls long for God. How will we fill that longing?

May you forever be blessed.
Melanie

Afterglowing

Are you familiar with the term 'afterglowing'? It was a term I heard a lot in the 80's and early 90's, in church settings usually. After a church service or perhaps a Christian concert or even after a particularly good time of fellowship, folks would linger around "after-glowing". If you're unfamiliar with the term, I looked it up and here's a few definitions I thought explained it fairly well or at least might give a good idea of what I mean.

1) (I particularly like this one) The light emitted after removal of a source of energy. ex. the glow of an incandescent metal as it cools.
2) The comfortable feeling following a pleasant experience.
3) A lingering impression of past glory or success.

The reason I mention this is because it's pushing 2am and I can't sleep because I'm still "afterglowing" after this mornings...um, I mean yesterday morning's worship time at church. I keep replaying it in my mind.

I had to lead worship yesterday and if you've followed to any degree my quest to overcome anxiety while leading worship, you understand what I went through trying to get ready for church. I recently told a friend that it's gotten to the point that having to lead ranks right up there with root canal on my fear meter. Pretty bad, right? Lord forgive me.

Well, it started out same as always. Upset stomach from the time the alarm went off, numerous trips to the bathroom (more info than you probably needed, I'm sure. Sorry), minor heart palpitations, etc. But then I got to church. Mind you, since I got up I'd been trying to meditate on various scriptures the Lord has shown me in recent weeks on this topic.

Because of summer internships and vacations, etc. our worship team has been pretty minimal so I knew we wouldn't have a full team. But much to my surprise when I got there I saw we had an extra vocalist that I wasn't expecting and THEN two more unexpected surprises walked through the door - yet another vocalist and one of our drummers. With the exception of our acoustic guitar player, we had a full team! God knows that kind of support goes a long way for me. Then I felt totally blessed in having an extra 30 minutes of practice time and a team that was gracious and willing to hang in there with me for that extra time.

We finished practicing with about 20 minutes or so before the start of service. Any amount of waiting is killer to me. My stomach started acting up again so I whipped out my Bible and started reading my verses and spent some time in prayer.

Then the coolest thing happened. As soon as we started to do our thing I felt the Lord's presence. I had even sensed it during the practice time. The fear was gone, I felt this confidence and a genuine pleasure throughout worship. Please understand I love to sing, I love to worship and I love singing with our worship team. I will sing and worship my God whether I'm on a platform or in a pew or anywhere else for that matter but I'm telling you, I have never experienced to this degree the pure joy in the Lord while leading the worship set like I did this morning. I even messed up a little bit but it was truly not a big deal. It was such a joy and for me, that's a really big deal.

So it's 5 minutes before 2am and I'm still afterglowing and had no one to share it with - except you, of course, out there in the blogosphere.

Well, thanks for staying and reading this. I pray you are blessed with a special sense of His presence today. There's just nothing like it.

Melanie

A NOG Posting

Been working through my No Other Gods study and the following prayer by A.W. Tozer ended this week's homework. It spoke volumes to and for me.

"Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' name. Amen."

Wow. Be blessed.
Melanie

I Sit

I sit wondering and worrying...

Is my sweet one feeling better?
Is another one feeling bitter?
Have I let this one down?
Have I filled that one up?
Have I met expectations?
Do I press on or give up?

Do I confront or let go?
Express or move slow?
I want to scream and/or shout
My frustrations, let out.

I sit tired and weary - my sleep's been deprived.
I fear no conclusions will quickly arrive.

The thoughts in my head all vie to be heard
Some lies from the enemy, some completely absurd.
It's the still small Voice, I'm trying to hear.
If I come unto Him, then to me He'll draw near.

So here I sit waiting, His Word at my side.
My thoughts must grow quiet and my heart open wide.
I dare not trust in my feelings for they've led me astray.
Trust His Word over feelings that's the only sure way.

Now I still have no answers to what I said up above.
Yet my angst grows still and I've a sense of His love.
And for now that's enough; I'm surprisingly satisfied.
For to be accepted unconditionally, it's for that my heart's cried.

So I sit filled with gratitude and tears in my eyes.
Perhaps now's a good time to give sleep one more try.
I'll go turn out the lights, make sure everyone's fine.
And aim to rest sound in my Jesus for all time.