Thursday, May 16, 2013

Starting Over...Again

The dreaded scale, while all to often the least favorite item in my home, can also be quite the motivator. Depressing, yes but motivating just the same. Depressing because I'm creeping ever closer to the weight I was at months ago, which freaked me out then as it does now. Motivating because I hate that weight and don't want to be there ever again. Something's got to give. I feel awful. I look awful. How could I let myself get back to this point? All the hard work I put in, all the money spent and all the big talk, yet here I am - again. Granted, I've battled my share of annoying injuries - heel spurs, shin splints, back problems, etc. but had I stayed on track even with just the food, I would likely be that much closer to my weight-loss goals.

Failure. Wimp. Quitter. These words rattle around in my head tempting me to soften the sting over a boston cream at Dunkin Donuts. But no. Not gonna happen. I already overindulged at breakfast and I've decided not to let that fact sabotage me any further. Instead, I went walking. It's been a little while since I did that and it felt good. It took me nearly 20 minutes to walk a mile but walk a mile I did and then some. It's a bit disappointing to remember my happy dance in the middle of the street not that long ago over having walked/run 3 miles in only 50 minutes in addition to having lost nearly 20 lbs!. That was progress right there and I was so proud of myself. The fact is, if I did it then, I can do it. I can and will work to get back to that point and beyond.

I am no failure, wimp or quitter. That would only become true if I decided I was content with my weight and health as it is now and I'm NOT. There's a saying that goes "Without the 'test' there's no 'testimony'. Weight-loss and a healthy lifestyle doesn't happen overnight. My testimony will be one of overcoming my challenges and staying consistent despite the ups and downs of my journey.  

So here I am, starting over - again. So, I suppose it's not the worst place to be.

Be blessed.
Melanie
 

1 comment:

Tushar Kumar said...

I think this weight and how you look is of much higher importance to you. But you know.. this is life and you should be at peace with everything that you go through or will go through. I am not saying that you should be at peace with overweight but I am just saying that there is always a peaceful way of doing things. I have a feeling that you already know this but as we age, it becomes more and more irritating to not be able to do things the way we used to do and peacefulness at that time can only be achieved if the way we think about fitness is more in an evergreen way.