I Sit

I sit wondering and worrying...

Is my sweet one feeling better?
Is another one feeling bitter?
Have I let this one down?
Have I filled that one up?
Have I met expectations?
Do I press on or give up?

Do I confront or let go?
Express or move slow?
I want to scream and/or shout
My frustrations, let out.

I sit tired and weary - my sleep's been deprived.
I fear no conclusions will quickly arrive.

The thoughts in my head all vie to be heard
Some lies from the enemy, some completely absurd.
It's the still small Voice, I'm trying to hear.
If I come unto Him, then to me He'll draw near.

So here I sit waiting, His Word at my side.
My thoughts must grow quiet and my heart open wide.
I dare not trust in my feelings for they've led me astray.
Trust His Word over feelings that's the only sure way.

Now I still have no answers to what I said up above.
Yet my angst grows still and I've a sense of His love.
And for now that's enough; I'm surprisingly satisfied.
For to be accepted unconditionally, it's for that my heart's cried.

So I sit filled with gratitude and tears in my eyes.
Perhaps now's a good time to give sleep one more try.
I'll go turn out the lights, make sure everyone's fine.
And aim to rest sound in my Jesus for all time.